So many people's blogs I follow do this weekly menu blog. I'm not sure why they started but I know why I'm going to TRY it. We've been doing so much better on our war against eating out! lol But, our one downfall is that we don't plan well. So, there are days that if I didn't have anything set out, we end up having to eat out b/c the meat is still frozen. So, doing the weekly menu blog ensures that I have made a plan and that I have thought about it and hopefully will implement it into action. We'll see.
Sooooo, here goes my first weekly menu blog:
Monday- Dinner and game night with the Bryants.
Tuesday- Grilled pork chops, stuffing, and green beans
Wednesday- Chkn breast stuffed with broc and cheese, candied carrots and rice
Thursday- BBQ Chicken, corn on the cob, and roasted potatoes
ADDED BONUS**** Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown will be watched!!!!
Friday- Game Night. We will eat out and then go watch the football game! YEA!
Saturday- Ham, sweet potatoes, and mixed veggies.
Hopefully, this will stick. I'm trying to take the going out to eat thing down to only one night a week... and right now with Friday Night Football games, it's definitely going to be Friday. Although I'm dying for a little PF Changs.
Happy Menu Planning!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
To my sweet friend...You're my family.
I can't sleep tonight. I don't know why some nights the sleep just alludes me altogether. I'll pay for it tomorrow, vow to take an ambien, a tylenol pm, not drink caffiene, or to make myself do something I really don't want to do, so I'll want to sleep. But, tonight... all I can think about is my friend.
I got a call from a close friend of mine two days ago. She was in distress about family issues. Things weren't going well, hadn't been for awhile... and she didn't know what to do. After all, they were her family. I listened to her, cried with her, and then gave her the only advice I had, if you can call it advice. I said, "What do you want to do?" and "What can be done?" Everyone has family problems, no ones family is any less than dysfunctional. But, do you allow someone to keep hurting you strictly b/c they are your family? I don't have the answer to that question. I did tell her this though... The term family is subjective. I believe family are people who love you, your spouse, and your children. Family is involved in your life, in good times and bad. Family won't buy into the awful things people say about you, will in fact, come to you and ask you about them. Family has been there for you in the past, is there for you in the present, and you know will be there for you in your future. Blood, is not a criteria to being family. (Ask anyone who's adopted) Family, can be your spouse and children, your blood relatives, your in-laws, your closest friends, your church family, or anyone else in your life you can count on and can count on you. Unfortunately, we as people hurt each other each and every day. Even when we have the best of intentions. So, when there is conflict... is it possible to make it work? I guess that is up to the individual and the problems that have arose. Family has the potential to nurture and uplift, or to alienate and destroy.
To my sweet friend, you have always been there for me, and I will always be there for you. Even though I don't stay in touch like I should, you can call me anytime day or night and I will be there for you. To put it bluntly, (and you know how I love to be blunt) "this is gonna suck." But things will get better. I won't promise you they will turn out like you would like them to, but they will turn out the way they are supposed to.
Love,
Someone In Your Family. =)
I got a call from a close friend of mine two days ago. She was in distress about family issues. Things weren't going well, hadn't been for awhile... and she didn't know what to do. After all, they were her family. I listened to her, cried with her, and then gave her the only advice I had, if you can call it advice. I said, "What do you want to do?" and "What can be done?" Everyone has family problems, no ones family is any less than dysfunctional. But, do you allow someone to keep hurting you strictly b/c they are your family? I don't have the answer to that question. I did tell her this though... The term family is subjective. I believe family are people who love you, your spouse, and your children. Family is involved in your life, in good times and bad. Family won't buy into the awful things people say about you, will in fact, come to you and ask you about them. Family has been there for you in the past, is there for you in the present, and you know will be there for you in your future. Blood, is not a criteria to being family. (Ask anyone who's adopted) Family, can be your spouse and children, your blood relatives, your in-laws, your closest friends, your church family, or anyone else in your life you can count on and can count on you. Unfortunately, we as people hurt each other each and every day. Even when we have the best of intentions. So, when there is conflict... is it possible to make it work? I guess that is up to the individual and the problems that have arose. Family has the potential to nurture and uplift, or to alienate and destroy.
To my sweet friend, you have always been there for me, and I will always be there for you. Even though I don't stay in touch like I should, you can call me anytime day or night and I will be there for you. To put it bluntly, (and you know how I love to be blunt) "this is gonna suck." But things will get better. I won't promise you they will turn out like you would like them to, but they will turn out the way they are supposed to.
Love,
Someone In Your Family. =)
Monday, October 4, 2010
A New Month
It's been forever since I've had time to write. I sit down at the computer, check out facebook and absolutely can't make it any further. I completely missed September, but here are some highlights. ( Truly, I have so much to thank God about)
1. Went to a Nephrologist who made me feel lots better. We're going to keep watching my kidney's, but right now, all I have to do is take a couple of tests every three months, if those are good, next year, only twice a year, and so on. YEA!!! Mark and I were so stressed about this. It takes a real load off to know that nothing is happening RIGHT now. =)
2. Kirsten's dance team, the Sterling Stars is in full swing. We have had games, events, and competitions. I had no idea how busy I would be with HER drill team! lol. But we are loving it. Unfortunately, she hurt her foot last week and we ended up in the ER. She has a bruised bone, (whatever that means) and it made all the tissues swell up in her foot. She won't be able to perform this Friday, so she's bummed about that. However, the good news is that it's not broke so she should be back on track in a couple of weeks.
3. Sterling Homecoming! Her first Homecoming Dance. It was a tear jerker. They all had a blast and then she had a bunch of girls come over for a slumber party. I just can't believe how old she is. On the upside, we got to go out with some old friends and made some new friends! Hopefully we'll get to hang out again!
4. Chance has been having issues AGAIN. I swear I need to get medical insurance on this dog. Poor little man, his paw was so swollen I have no idea how he wasn't going crazy. Then once at the doctor, they make the discovery that Chance is going blind. His only chance is to see a dog optomalogist. I just don't know if I can spend that kind of money. He might be my inside blind dog. (Gravy, that sounded horrible.) =(
5. Work has been Craaaaaazy. Which is good, but I'm exhausted! (But in a good kind of way.)
6. My Birthday. I had a great time. Went out with some friends and family. Then got a home cooked meal. Yum Yum. I wanted to go to the zoo, but it rained. I'm so glad it did, b/c now Mark and I are going to the zoo Wed. and it's going to be gorgeous!!!
I need to set aside time to write, b/c I don't think these next few months are going to get anymore less hectic. All I can think about is how am I going to get my Christmas decorations up??? lol.
That's all for now.
~Tootles~
1. Went to a Nephrologist who made me feel lots better. We're going to keep watching my kidney's, but right now, all I have to do is take a couple of tests every three months, if those are good, next year, only twice a year, and so on. YEA!!! Mark and I were so stressed about this. It takes a real load off to know that nothing is happening RIGHT now. =)
2. Kirsten's dance team, the Sterling Stars is in full swing. We have had games, events, and competitions. I had no idea how busy I would be with HER drill team! lol. But we are loving it. Unfortunately, she hurt her foot last week and we ended up in the ER. She has a bruised bone, (whatever that means) and it made all the tissues swell up in her foot. She won't be able to perform this Friday, so she's bummed about that. However, the good news is that it's not broke so she should be back on track in a couple of weeks.
3. Sterling Homecoming! Her first Homecoming Dance. It was a tear jerker. They all had a blast and then she had a bunch of girls come over for a slumber party. I just can't believe how old she is. On the upside, we got to go out with some old friends and made some new friends! Hopefully we'll get to hang out again!
4. Chance has been having issues AGAIN. I swear I need to get medical insurance on this dog. Poor little man, his paw was so swollen I have no idea how he wasn't going crazy. Then once at the doctor, they make the discovery that Chance is going blind. His only chance is to see a dog optomalogist. I just don't know if I can spend that kind of money. He might be my inside blind dog. (Gravy, that sounded horrible.) =(
5. Work has been Craaaaaazy. Which is good, but I'm exhausted! (But in a good kind of way.)
6. My Birthday. I had a great time. Went out with some friends and family. Then got a home cooked meal. Yum Yum. I wanted to go to the zoo, but it rained. I'm so glad it did, b/c now Mark and I are going to the zoo Wed. and it's going to be gorgeous!!!
I need to set aside time to write, b/c I don't think these next few months are going to get anymore less hectic. All I can think about is how am I going to get my Christmas decorations up??? lol.
That's all for now.
~Tootles~
Monday, August 23, 2010
100 Things...
We (Mark and I) found a list I made about 13 years ago of the 100 things I wanted to accomplish/do in my lifetime. We got a pretty big laugh out of some of them. ( I think some of it might need to be tweaked at my age!!!) lol
1. Be truly healthy
2. Be a great mom
3. Be a great wife
4. Show people how much I love God.
5. Ride in a hot air balloon.
6. Take Kirsten on a mom/daughter trip. (Done July 2010)
7. Make a quilt (Done March 06)
8. Ride a bike ride with Mark. (maybe a small one)
9. Flip a house. (hold on... I was too busy laughing on this one. DON'T WANT To)
10. Take a cruise.
11.Go to Hawaii with my family.
12. Renew our vows
13. Go to murder/mystery B&B
14. Go down River (1993)
15. Find a job I love to do (Scrapbook Emporium 2010)
16. Help change someone's life for the better. (Mark said I must check this off)
17. Drive from Maryland to Maine during fall.
18.Take Kirsten to college
19. Give Birdie a Sweet 16 dance
20. Go to Las Vegas
21. See Celine Dion sing (2009)
22. See Sarah McGlachlin sing
23. See Stevie Nicks sing
24. Go to San Francisco with Mark
25. Swim with a dolphin or a seal
26. Write my memoirs (finished 2008)
27. Take a trip on a plane
28. Plant a tree
29. Build a house. (I'm not sure I want to do this either)
30. learn a salsa dance
31. Be passionate about a cause and spend time helping it
32. Get to my goal weight
33. Go camping (when it's cool outside)
34. Make a will (2009)
35. Go to Italy
36. Take Mark to see the Tour de France
37. Redo a Karmenghia (maybe buy a redone Karmenghia)
38. Run a half marathon (HHHHHHAAAAA... I'll settle for run 3 miles)
39. Make a pizza from scratch including dough
40.See the Rocky Mountains
41. Go to Yellowstone National Park
42. Take Kirsten to Vegas on her 21st birthday
43. Learn to rollerblade. (Why, oh why...did this make the list???) 1999
44. Ride in a horse drawn carriage at Fort Wilderness at Disney World
45. Go Vacation in an RV (After seeing the movie RV I really want to do this! lol)
46. Take Photography classes
47. Fly 1st class (however since we mostly fly Southwest this COULD be a problem.)
48. Ride on a gondola in Venice with Mark (or at least at the Venetian in Las Vegas...lol)
49. See the Northern lights
50. Parasail
51. Be happy with myself
52. Be sure to tell all family and friends that I love them and what they mean to me (which is kind of what this blog is)
53. Have a spa day
54. Vote (Done)
55. Watch the Sunrise on the beach (with Kirsten 09)
56. Host a big dinner party (2004)
57. Forgive my parents.
58. Go to Niagra Falls
59. See Rockettes at Christmas in NYC
60 See Ron White do Stand up
61 Go to the top of the statue of liberty (can you still do that???)
62. Read bible cover to cover
63. Make scrapbooks for Kirsten (2006-10)
64 Go to drive in theatre. (2009)
65. Start a buisness (2010)
66. See a shooting star
67Visit every state in the Country
68 Help Birdie plan a wedding
69 Drive Route 66
70 go to the longest yardsale
71 See my 65th birthday
72 Do Stand up (2000 Houston Laff stop)
73 Sit on a jury (WHY????)
74 Go to an auction and buy something (does Ebay count???)
75 Go to Disneyland/California Adventure
76 Go on a date in a limo (??? I've already done this, why do I want to do this again?? I don't.)
77 Go to New Orleans for jazz fest
78 Be there when Birdie has kids
79 Go somewhere and see major snow
80 Learn to say no
81 Go see a UT game (2010)
82 Stop cussing (Gravy, I try)
83 Go to Ground zero
84 Win a poker tournament (2006 Cherokee)
85 Sing Karoeke (2007- if you weren't there... tough, it won't happen again!!! Lol)
86 Skinny dip (or chunky dunk)
87 Go on a shopping spree and not worry about money. (um... right)
88 Foster a child
89 Volunteer in a soup kitchen with kirsten and Mark during Thanksgiving
90 See a lunar eclipse
91 Forgive myself for my past (2010- a work in progress, but it's workin')
92 Have a better relationship with my dad (Done)
93 Send Mark on a bike trip to Costa Rica
94 Save a year's worth of salary
95 Stay in castle for a night (huh?)
96 Get out of debt (almost there)
97 Don't worry about what other people think about me. (I think I've accomplished this)
98 Get on Survivor or Big Brother (No. Thank. You.)
99.
100.
(I left the last two open in case I had some other important things I thought about I guess)
This list made me think of a couple of things. I would like to do alot of these things and this list kind of gives me a reminder of what I would like to do. But, if I never do another thing on this list... I can honestly say I'm happy. I've got my husband... who most certainly is my best friend in the world... and I've got a wonderful daughter, that I couldn't be more blessed by. Plus, the wonderful friends and family in my life. What more could I possibly ask for? A spot on Survivor??? (Gravy, I was young and stupid when I made this list) lol
1. Be truly healthy
2. Be a great mom
3. Be a great wife
4. Show people how much I love God.
5. Ride in a hot air balloon.
6. Take Kirsten on a mom/daughter trip. (Done July 2010)
7. Make a quilt (Done March 06)
8. Ride a bike ride with Mark. (maybe a small one)
9. Flip a house. (hold on... I was too busy laughing on this one. DON'T WANT To)
10. Take a cruise.
11.Go to Hawaii with my family.
12. Renew our vows
13. Go to murder/mystery B&B
14. Go down River (1993)
15. Find a job I love to do (Scrapbook Emporium 2010)
16. Help change someone's life for the better. (Mark said I must check this off)
17. Drive from Maryland to Maine during fall.
18.Take Kirsten to college
19. Give Birdie a Sweet 16 dance
20. Go to Las Vegas
21. See Celine Dion sing (2009)
22. See Sarah McGlachlin sing
23. See Stevie Nicks sing
24. Go to San Francisco with Mark
25. Swim with a dolphin or a seal
26. Write my memoirs (finished 2008)
27. Take a trip on a plane
28. Plant a tree
29. Build a house. (I'm not sure I want to do this either)
30. learn a salsa dance
31. Be passionate about a cause and spend time helping it
32. Get to my goal weight
33. Go camping (when it's cool outside)
34. Make a will (2009)
35. Go to Italy
36. Take Mark to see the Tour de France
37. Redo a Karmenghia (maybe buy a redone Karmenghia)
38. Run a half marathon (HHHHHHAAAAA... I'll settle for run 3 miles)
39. Make a pizza from scratch including dough
40.See the Rocky Mountains
41. Go to Yellowstone National Park
42. Take Kirsten to Vegas on her 21st birthday
43. Learn to rollerblade. (Why, oh why...did this make the list???) 1999
44. Ride in a horse drawn carriage at Fort Wilderness at Disney World
45. Go Vacation in an RV (After seeing the movie RV I really want to do this! lol)
46. Take Photography classes
47. Fly 1st class (however since we mostly fly Southwest this COULD be a problem.)
48. Ride on a gondola in Venice with Mark (or at least at the Venetian in Las Vegas...lol)
49. See the Northern lights
50. Parasail
51. Be happy with myself
52. Be sure to tell all family and friends that I love them and what they mean to me (which is kind of what this blog is)
53. Have a spa day
54. Vote (Done)
55. Watch the Sunrise on the beach (with Kirsten 09)
56. Host a big dinner party (2004)
57. Forgive my parents.
58. Go to Niagra Falls
59. See Rockettes at Christmas in NYC
60 See Ron White do Stand up
61 Go to the top of the statue of liberty (can you still do that???)
62. Read bible cover to cover
63. Make scrapbooks for Kirsten (2006-10)
64 Go to drive in theatre. (2009)
65. Start a buisness (2010)
66. See a shooting star
67Visit every state in the Country
68 Help Birdie plan a wedding
69 Drive Route 66
70 go to the longest yardsale
71 See my 65th birthday
72 Do Stand up (2000 Houston Laff stop)
73 Sit on a jury (WHY????)
74 Go to an auction and buy something (does Ebay count???)
75 Go to Disneyland/California Adventure
76 Go on a date in a limo (??? I've already done this, why do I want to do this again?? I don't.)
77 Go to New Orleans for jazz fest
78 Be there when Birdie has kids
79 Go somewhere and see major snow
80 Learn to say no
81 Go see a UT game (2010)
82 Stop cussing (Gravy, I try)
83 Go to Ground zero
84 Win a poker tournament (2006 Cherokee)
85 Sing Karoeke (2007- if you weren't there... tough, it won't happen again!!! Lol)
86 Skinny dip (or chunky dunk)
87 Go on a shopping spree and not worry about money. (um... right)
88 Foster a child
89 Volunteer in a soup kitchen with kirsten and Mark during Thanksgiving
90 See a lunar eclipse
91 Forgive myself for my past (2010- a work in progress, but it's workin')
92 Have a better relationship with my dad (Done)
93 Send Mark on a bike trip to Costa Rica
94 Save a year's worth of salary
95 Stay in castle for a night (huh?)
96 Get out of debt (almost there)
97 Don't worry about what other people think about me. (I think I've accomplished this)
98 Get on Survivor or Big Brother (No. Thank. You.)
99.
100.
(I left the last two open in case I had some other important things I thought about I guess)
This list made me think of a couple of things. I would like to do alot of these things and this list kind of gives me a reminder of what I would like to do. But, if I never do another thing on this list... I can honestly say I'm happy. I've got my husband... who most certainly is my best friend in the world... and I've got a wonderful daughter, that I couldn't be more blessed by. Plus, the wonderful friends and family in my life. What more could I possibly ask for? A spot on Survivor??? (Gravy, I was young and stupid when I made this list) lol
Thursday, August 12, 2010
August 12, 1995-2010
August 12, 1995 is the day it all started. I remember being so incredibly scared, and totally unsure of what I was doing. If I had known then that this would be one of the best and most life impacting decisions I was to make I would have no doubt relaxed and tried to remember each and every solitary detail of the day. (I sure am glad we taped it!)lol
Let me tell you about my husband. Simply put, he is the best man I've ever met. There is no way that I can even begin to put into words what Mark has done for me. He has taught me how to forgive and let go, how to let myself be happy, and that no matter what, he's not going anywhere. He has healed hurts in me that no therapist could even touch. He is my family, in every since of the word. He loves me unconditionally, and I know that is incredibly hard to do. We've been through great times, good times, and bad times. Even in the worst of these, he has never so much as threatened to go anywhere. (I'm a runner~I run when things get bad... and Mark has showed and taught me that I don't ever have to run when it comes to him.) He's the best dad I could have ever imagined for Kirsten. Watching them together just makes my heart swell.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for sending Mark to me. I have no doubt that God put him in my life, and I am eternally grateful.
Mark, I love the life we've made together. There is no one or no where I'd rather be than right here with you. (Maybe I'd like to be with you in Hawaii though) Thank you for spending the last 15 years with me. Thank you for being with me when I'm good, fun, bitchy, kind, stand-offish, crazy-good and crazy-bad, moody, brave, and not so brave. I love you, every part of you, your good and bad, your quirks, and your OCD. (lol.) You're amazing to me and I can't wait to spend the next 50 years with you.
Christi
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
It's Late Again
Here it is, late again... and I'm up. Gravy, I can't be off work long before my hours start to turn around. I guess I need to get back to work.
I know I've totally blown off my 30 days of me. Of course, I really didn't blow it off, but I DID blow off writing about it. Problem is, when I don't do anything, I have plenty of time to write and nothing to write about. Then when I'm totally busy I have loads to talk about and no time to write. Oh well, so are the tough problems in life. Lol.
I've been on "vacation" since last Friday and it has been truly great. I was kinda disappointed that we weren't going anywhere til closer to fall to celebrate our 15th anniversary. We decided to stay at home and get some things done that really needed to get done that we have no time to ever do. I wasn't really looking forward to it if I can be honest. However, it always seems that the things I dread the most are the things I enjoy and the things I look forward to can sometimes bring me disappointment.
We've gotten all the big things done at the house we needed to get done. (Which is a huge load off our backs.) We've had kids at our house all week... which I love. It's been months and months since I've really been able to relax and have the kids hang out over here. I'm always at work and we're always running 90 mph to get to the next thing. I've had lunches and dinners and fun with friends and family. Mark and I have been able to spend alot of time together and we've caught up on our sleep. (Man, that's the best part!)lol. Normally we take vacation and when I get back from vacation I'm already behind b/c I need to do laundry, clean the house and take a nap! But I'm feeling good and like I can go back to work and be productive and relaxed. Weird. It's a first.
I've worked pretty hard on this 30 day thing. I think it's going to stay in progress. I can say that in the last 15 or more days I have decidedly begun to think more about what I'm feeling and less about what people are thinking about me. You can like me or leave me. I've begun to realize that I have a pretty wonderful circle of family and friends to support me. And for them, I am truly thankful.
I know I've totally blown off my 30 days of me. Of course, I really didn't blow it off, but I DID blow off writing about it. Problem is, when I don't do anything, I have plenty of time to write and nothing to write about. Then when I'm totally busy I have loads to talk about and no time to write. Oh well, so are the tough problems in life. Lol.
I've been on "vacation" since last Friday and it has been truly great. I was kinda disappointed that we weren't going anywhere til closer to fall to celebrate our 15th anniversary. We decided to stay at home and get some things done that really needed to get done that we have no time to ever do. I wasn't really looking forward to it if I can be honest. However, it always seems that the things I dread the most are the things I enjoy and the things I look forward to can sometimes bring me disappointment.
We've gotten all the big things done at the house we needed to get done. (Which is a huge load off our backs.) We've had kids at our house all week... which I love. It's been months and months since I've really been able to relax and have the kids hang out over here. I'm always at work and we're always running 90 mph to get to the next thing. I've had lunches and dinners and fun with friends and family. Mark and I have been able to spend alot of time together and we've caught up on our sleep. (Man, that's the best part!)lol. Normally we take vacation and when I get back from vacation I'm already behind b/c I need to do laundry, clean the house and take a nap! But I'm feeling good and like I can go back to work and be productive and relaxed. Weird. It's a first.
I've worked pretty hard on this 30 day thing. I think it's going to stay in progress. I can say that in the last 15 or more days I have decidedly begun to think more about what I'm feeling and less about what people are thinking about me. You can like me or leave me. I've begun to realize that I have a pretty wonderful circle of family and friends to support me. And for them, I am truly thankful.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Day 8- 3 Days in a Row????
Today started beautifully. It's always a wonderful day when I get to sleep in. I mean, not just sleep late, but to NOT have to set the alarm. There is something profoundly beautiful about that. It makes me wonder why when I'm on vacation I don't schedule more days to not have to set an alarm to. However, in that same thought, I'd have to be in Vegas, because I can sleep late!
I got up and Mark and I checked the corpse flower. If you're wondering what a corpse flower is I'll tell ya. First of all, there is one at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. The corpse flower is 5 ft tall and it only opens up for 48 hours once in its whole lifespan. When the corpse flower opens it's 5ft wide and it smells like a rotting corpse. (Hence the name Corpse flower) There is a live webcam on this flower 24 hours a day and the museum is staying open 24 hours a day to accomodate the people coming to see it. It could open at any moment now so people are watching from all over the world. Weird, I know. But an amazing weird.
We all went to lunch and then I went and checked out some of the local scrapbook stores in the area. Some of which I had never been to. Most of these places are so friendly. I just love scrapbookers... good thing I guess, since I have a store. lol.
Came home, went grocery shopping, and paid the bills. That's when my day starts to get bad. (I hate paying bills) Why can't I be one of those women who doesn't have a clue as to how much money is in the bank. Nope, hold on... forget that. That would make me crazy too. How about I just win the lottery. Yep, that's what I want... to win the lottery.
Ok, this whole writing on my blog has taught me a few new things. One... I'm really boring. Two... I have basically had bad days in a row. Isn't that strangely alot of bad days??? Maybe I just never REALIZE I'm having lots of bad days in a row. If that is the case, this whole 30 days thing sucks. Three... I'm gonna have to write about something other than my days b/c I'm putting myself to sleep.
And now I'm off to do just that. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I got up and Mark and I checked the corpse flower. If you're wondering what a corpse flower is I'll tell ya. First of all, there is one at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. The corpse flower is 5 ft tall and it only opens up for 48 hours once in its whole lifespan. When the corpse flower opens it's 5ft wide and it smells like a rotting corpse. (Hence the name Corpse flower) There is a live webcam on this flower 24 hours a day and the museum is staying open 24 hours a day to accomodate the people coming to see it. It could open at any moment now so people are watching from all over the world. Weird, I know. But an amazing weird.
We all went to lunch and then I went and checked out some of the local scrapbook stores in the area. Some of which I had never been to. Most of these places are so friendly. I just love scrapbookers... good thing I guess, since I have a store. lol.
Came home, went grocery shopping, and paid the bills. That's when my day starts to get bad. (I hate paying bills) Why can't I be one of those women who doesn't have a clue as to how much money is in the bank. Nope, hold on... forget that. That would make me crazy too. How about I just win the lottery. Yep, that's what I want... to win the lottery.
Ok, this whole writing on my blog has taught me a few new things. One... I'm really boring. Two... I have basically had bad days in a row. Isn't that strangely alot of bad days??? Maybe I just never REALIZE I'm having lots of bad days in a row. If that is the case, this whole 30 days thing sucks. Three... I'm gonna have to write about something other than my days b/c I'm putting myself to sleep.
And now I'm off to do just that. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Day 7- I Need My Happy Place
Sorry about yesterday. Yesterday was one of those monumental bad days. I mean, it was just bad. All I could do yesterday, literally, was climb into bed and sleep it off. I mean the day, not a hangover. I didn't want to be awake and coherent for even ONE more minute. And by all means, I didn't want to recreate and talk about my day. (This is lucky for you, since I am trying to work on my potty mouth vice, but I tend to let it rip when I have this kind of day.)
Today was slightly better... still not wonderful, but I'm trying to be positive for my 30 days of positivity and light. Man, the Lord is getting his laughs at my expense. (I understand, everyone needs a laugh now and then... and I figure He needs them more than any of us considering the kind of crap we pull)
Mark is off tomorrow and we're supposed to have a date day/night. However, we have so much to do at home I have no idea if we'll be able to do anything or not. I mean, bills, the lawn, laundry, getting Kirsten ready for camp, bathing the dogs, cleaning out the cars...when did life turn into a series of chores? Well, today I'll try to be thankful that I have clothes to clean, a lawn to cut, a car to clean, a dog to bathe (or three) money to pay the bills and a child to get ready for camp. Man, I can hear how fake that sounds sitting here. It's not all fake... I really am thankful for all that when I think about it.
But for today... can we say, I'm in a funk???? lol I think I need to go back to my happy place. =)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Day 5- I'm goin' DOWN today. =(
Ok, to vent or to try to be positive first??? It won't take me long to be positive so let me get that out of the way.
Day 5. Highlight- Lunch with Michelle =) I'm so glad I had this to look forward to b/c if I hadn't had that I'd be in some deep doo in the positive department. The only thing I could do to improve this lunch was to have made it longer!
I also got alot done at work today. (Look, I'm trying to find positive things...ok?)
Now to vent. Where should I start? The alarm clock sits on my husband's side of the bed and this morning when it went off I half yelled/ half groaned for him to hit snooze. Well, he hit off. Not his fault, but still made me do that jump out of the bed thing with your heart racing, a four letter word on the tip of your tongue and no time for a shower icky feeling that stays with you all day long.
I get to work and finally call the doctor b/c after about 5 months of being sick everyday I've decided enough is enough. (Have I told you I hate going to the doctor?? With a passion beyond anyone's understanding?) They inform me that if I cancel this appointment I will be charged since I have canceled the last 3 appointments. (Pooh... now I've got to go!) I go, and walk into the office only to see about 20 other people sitting in there. (Gravy, you know it's gonna be a long one now!) I wait at the window, feeling like a complete dumbass b/c there is a sign on the window saying... "Don't tap on the window, we see you and we'll get to the window soon." I stand there, looking thru the frosted window at the newest addition to this obviously tortured office staff. I swear, my doctor is wonderful, but his office staff has to be trained by the "queen of crappy service" medical extroardinare. It's like a school they must all go thru to work in the office there. I'm trying to be patient, seeing this office member on the phone, trying to give her the benifit of the doubt that she's on the phone with a patient, until she hangs up with a "love ya, boo". She pushes the window open, chomping on her gum, (I assume) and just stares at me. Ok... "Christi Downs, 3:30...I'm here" She says nothing but hands me the clip board with at least as many papers as when I bought my house. She says, "fill these out" and shuts the window. Um... HELLO... I tap on the window, a "no-no" as stated on the window, but I'm losing my 30 day positivity attitude. "I'm not a new patient." I say. She looks at me like I'm possibly the dumbest human on the planet and tells me that I have to fill out new insurance information every time I come in. I tell her, I've been going to ya'll for 12 years... I have the EXACT same insurance and information that I've had for the last 10 years and I have no need to fill out the new forms that say EXACTLY what the old forms say. (Now I see the office manager... who is the leader of bad service in this office give me... the look) There is a slight look of panic from the newbie as she doesn't know what to do with one like me, who is out of her lexapro, doesn't like going to the doctor, and has also tapped on the glass. (I'm a rebel) They let me go sit down. Where my new HELL begins. We have new big screen tv's now in the office. Wonderful. We are watching Planet Earth. Ok. I sit there for an hour watching Cougars eat zebra, wildebeast, pumba's, bambi-like creatures, and small gazelles... all babies. A-TRO-CIOUS. Um, forty-five minutes later (and honey, it was still on) I thought I might ask someone if I could watch baby seals being clubbed to death... I thought it might be less graphic and upsetting. But finally, mercifully, my name is called. Nurses and Doctors are wonderful... except for the wonderful slew of tests I'm going to be subjected to in the next couple of weeks. I'm having stomach issues... let your mind think of all the neat test possibilities. Fun. I think God is testing my 30 day theory.
Finally done. Back to work, which is good.
Tomorrow is another day. Hurry up, new day. lol
Til then...
Day 5. Highlight- Lunch with Michelle =) I'm so glad I had this to look forward to b/c if I hadn't had that I'd be in some deep doo in the positive department. The only thing I could do to improve this lunch was to have made it longer!
I also got alot done at work today. (Look, I'm trying to find positive things...ok?)
Now to vent. Where should I start? The alarm clock sits on my husband's side of the bed and this morning when it went off I half yelled/ half groaned for him to hit snooze. Well, he hit off. Not his fault, but still made me do that jump out of the bed thing with your heart racing, a four letter word on the tip of your tongue and no time for a shower icky feeling that stays with you all day long.
I get to work and finally call the doctor b/c after about 5 months of being sick everyday I've decided enough is enough. (Have I told you I hate going to the doctor?? With a passion beyond anyone's understanding?) They inform me that if I cancel this appointment I will be charged since I have canceled the last 3 appointments. (Pooh... now I've got to go!) I go, and walk into the office only to see about 20 other people sitting in there. (Gravy, you know it's gonna be a long one now!) I wait at the window, feeling like a complete dumbass b/c there is a sign on the window saying... "Don't tap on the window, we see you and we'll get to the window soon." I stand there, looking thru the frosted window at the newest addition to this obviously tortured office staff. I swear, my doctor is wonderful, but his office staff has to be trained by the "queen of crappy service" medical extroardinare. It's like a school they must all go thru to work in the office there. I'm trying to be patient, seeing this office member on the phone, trying to give her the benifit of the doubt that she's on the phone with a patient, until she hangs up with a "love ya, boo". She pushes the window open, chomping on her gum, (I assume) and just stares at me. Ok... "Christi Downs, 3:30...I'm here" She says nothing but hands me the clip board with at least as many papers as when I bought my house. She says, "fill these out" and shuts the window. Um... HELLO... I tap on the window, a "no-no" as stated on the window, but I'm losing my 30 day positivity attitude. "I'm not a new patient." I say. She looks at me like I'm possibly the dumbest human on the planet and tells me that I have to fill out new insurance information every time I come in. I tell her, I've been going to ya'll for 12 years... I have the EXACT same insurance and information that I've had for the last 10 years and I have no need to fill out the new forms that say EXACTLY what the old forms say. (Now I see the office manager... who is the leader of bad service in this office give me... the look) There is a slight look of panic from the newbie as she doesn't know what to do with one like me, who is out of her lexapro, doesn't like going to the doctor, and has also tapped on the glass. (I'm a rebel) They let me go sit down. Where my new HELL begins. We have new big screen tv's now in the office. Wonderful. We are watching Planet Earth. Ok. I sit there for an hour watching Cougars eat zebra, wildebeast, pumba's, bambi-like creatures, and small gazelles... all babies. A-TRO-CIOUS. Um, forty-five minutes later (and honey, it was still on) I thought I might ask someone if I could watch baby seals being clubbed to death... I thought it might be less graphic and upsetting. But finally, mercifully, my name is called. Nurses and Doctors are wonderful... except for the wonderful slew of tests I'm going to be subjected to in the next couple of weeks. I'm having stomach issues... let your mind think of all the neat test possibilities. Fun. I think God is testing my 30 day theory.
Finally done. Back to work, which is good.
Tomorrow is another day. Hurry up, new day. lol
Til then...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Day 4-Cleaning~ Not what it's Cracked Up To Be
Day 4 began bright and early. Of course, part of my plan to clean was foiled by my husband. He slept today and so I had to be quiet so as not to wake him. Well, this makes cleaning no fun. If I'm gonna clean, I want to turn on the radio loudly, and boogie down while cleaning. The whole cleaning in quiet and solitude only made me not want to clean. Uh oh. Don't worry, dear reader, I did get quite a bit done, although the bedrooms need some sprucing... I'll get to it tomorrow.
I had a nice lunch with my mom and her new boyfriend. Then went to up to work for a bit. I came back home and began to start to work on the house a bit more. However, when I went into my room to start cleaning again, my bed began to call my name and I, not wanting to be rude, began to visit it by laying down and having a little nap on it. Upon waking from my nap, I decided to ask myself the question... "What do you want to do????" The answer today is, I want to watch movies. So, I began my night with "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "The Sandlot" . I'm rather enjoying these... and since my secret dream is to go to Italy and spend at least a month living in a small town "Under the Tuscan Sun" is especially fun to watch.
I think it would be a much more fun 30 days to ask myself "What do you want to do?" if I had an endless money supply. Maybe the best thing is to be surrounded by everyday things you can afford readily when asking yourself "what do you want to do?" so that it becomes easier in your everyday life. If I had as much money as I wanted to do what I wanted to do it would be like a vacation, right?? Eh, whatever. The cleaning thing wasn't what it was cracked up to be. And then I had to ask myself... what in the heck was I thinking WANTING to clean the house??? No one WANTS to clean their house, they just want a clean house. However, I have wished many times for a clean house and I know that particular genie "Ain't grantin' me no wishes!." Lol.
Anyway, I'm going back to enjoying my movies and hoping that this next week brings me more interesting fodder to write about. But 30 days of writing I promised, and 30 days of writing you will get... no matter how (ahem) entertaining it is.
Until tomorrow.
I had a nice lunch with my mom and her new boyfriend. Then went to up to work for a bit. I came back home and began to start to work on the house a bit more. However, when I went into my room to start cleaning again, my bed began to call my name and I, not wanting to be rude, began to visit it by laying down and having a little nap on it. Upon waking from my nap, I decided to ask myself the question... "What do you want to do????" The answer today is, I want to watch movies. So, I began my night with "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "The Sandlot" . I'm rather enjoying these... and since my secret dream is to go to Italy and spend at least a month living in a small town "Under the Tuscan Sun" is especially fun to watch.
I think it would be a much more fun 30 days to ask myself "What do you want to do?" if I had an endless money supply. Maybe the best thing is to be surrounded by everyday things you can afford readily when asking yourself "what do you want to do?" so that it becomes easier in your everyday life. If I had as much money as I wanted to do what I wanted to do it would be like a vacation, right?? Eh, whatever. The cleaning thing wasn't what it was cracked up to be. And then I had to ask myself... what in the heck was I thinking WANTING to clean the house??? No one WANTS to clean their house, they just want a clean house. However, I have wished many times for a clean house and I know that particular genie "Ain't grantin' me no wishes!." Lol.
Anyway, I'm going back to enjoying my movies and hoping that this next week brings me more interesting fodder to write about. But 30 days of writing I promised, and 30 days of writing you will get... no matter how (ahem) entertaining it is.
Until tomorrow.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Day 3- Let the Fun Begin.
Do you ever look at someone and think.... how the hell did that happen???? Tonight, I'm in a restaurant sitting extremely near a black guy that had a long lightning bolt BONE earring, MC Hammer pants, tank top, a HUGE gold belt and black boots on. Now, you may think... what kind of restaurant were you in??? And I would tell you that I was in a Baytown restaurant. (Alot of people here have a very eclectic look.) But, he was with a pretty normal looking lady (no weird accessories or clothes items) and I couldn't help but wonder, "WHY did she let him go out like that???" Then it hit me... that is some REAL love. I mean, let your freak flag fly kinda love. And it hit me that really all love should be like that. I mean, I'm not telling you to go out and buy yourself some parachute pants and a mesh velcro top, I'm just saying shouldn't we love everyone no matter what they look like, dress like and appear like? What makes people interesting are the little things that we do that are like NO one else. So, the next time my husband puts on his "slacker" t-shirt, cargo shorts with the string holding them together, and his socks with soccer sandals on his way to go run errands around town, I'm going to smile, wave and tell him he looks great and to have a great day. Cause dog-gone it... I love him.
Wonderful news- My friend Mari is going to find me a horse I can brush and pet. I'm lovin' that idea... but not loving the fact that I'm going to have to go all the way to Tennesee to see her soon. =(
Now, for the question of the day.... What do I want to do??? (Day 3) I want to clean the whole house tomorrow, top to bottom and do some laundry. Ok, nothing could have surprised me more than this finding of the day. I HATE to clean... but man, I"m in the mood to do it now. I"m thinking this question stuff is crazy, since I really thought I was going to find answers like, "I want to watch tv, get a massage, go shopping, etc" I wasn't expecting this stuff out of left field that truly I've never wanted to do... like brushing a horse or cleaning the house. (Not that I don't clean the house, but that I NEVER want to.)
Alright... to sum up Day three's findings= "Let your freak flag fly" and " Cleanliness is next to craziness... at least when you WANT to clean, it is."
Good night all. Can't wait to see what I learn about me tomorrow.
Wonderful news- My friend Mari is going to find me a horse I can brush and pet. I'm lovin' that idea... but not loving the fact that I'm going to have to go all the way to Tennesee to see her soon. =(
Now, for the question of the day.... What do I want to do??? (Day 3) I want to clean the whole house tomorrow, top to bottom and do some laundry. Ok, nothing could have surprised me more than this finding of the day. I HATE to clean... but man, I"m in the mood to do it now. I"m thinking this question stuff is crazy, since I really thought I was going to find answers like, "I want to watch tv, get a massage, go shopping, etc" I wasn't expecting this stuff out of left field that truly I've never wanted to do... like brushing a horse or cleaning the house. (Not that I don't clean the house, but that I NEVER want to.)
Alright... to sum up Day three's findings= "Let your freak flag fly" and " Cleanliness is next to craziness... at least when you WANT to clean, it is."
Good night all. Can't wait to see what I learn about me tomorrow.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Day 2- Back to Work.
For some reason today, I was dreading work. I mean, I usually love to go to the shop and "work" but I guess having this "almost" week off made me REALLY enjoy being off and work didn't sound too awesome. But, I got there and there was sooo much to do I immediately got absorbed into the things that needed to be done, that I realized that I really wasn't having as bad of a day as I thought. Now don't get me wrong, I would have rather been at home today. I have lots to do there, and a nap would have really hit the spot around 2pm but it was busy enough I didn't have time to think about it much.
I met with an old friend today. We had been really close friends, and we hurt each other terribly... the way only someone really close to you can. I make friends pretty easily, but I only have a handful of people I am so close to I would regard as part of my famiy. This was one of those friends. We had resolved the major conflict months ago, but had regarded each other warily ever since. No longer enemies, but afraid of being friends again. We talked today. We forgave today. Gravy, we put ourselves out there... which is hard for both of us. I missed her, and I'm glad we have resolution.
It was a pretty good evening all in all. I laughed and talked with my old friend, til my new friend came to do one of her "cheer mom" projects and I sat there laughing and showing her the cricut til time to go.
Alright, I know, brief and not even remotely entertaining... I'll try to do better. Getting in late makes me just want to go to sleep!
Synopsis: Day 2 of Test. Took a chance, went "all in" began a new friendship with an old friend. =)
I met with an old friend today. We had been really close friends, and we hurt each other terribly... the way only someone really close to you can. I make friends pretty easily, but I only have a handful of people I am so close to I would regard as part of my famiy. This was one of those friends. We had resolved the major conflict months ago, but had regarded each other warily ever since. No longer enemies, but afraid of being friends again. We talked today. We forgave today. Gravy, we put ourselves out there... which is hard for both of us. I missed her, and I'm glad we have resolution.
It was a pretty good evening all in all. I laughed and talked with my old friend, til my new friend came to do one of her "cheer mom" projects and I sat there laughing and showing her the cricut til time to go.
Alright, I know, brief and not even remotely entertaining... I'll try to do better. Getting in late makes me just want to go to sleep!
Synopsis: Day 2 of Test. Took a chance, went "all in" began a new friendship with an old friend. =)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Day 1. Coming Home
Day 1 of my little experiment, and it was easy... today. I got up this morning and was thinking home, home, home. Gotta get home. I am one of those people that once you get on the road I"m ready to get wherever it is we are going. But, today because I remembered my test I thought I need to relax... we'll get there when we get there. I decided that I needed to focus on the people around me, and enjoy them. It's so unusual to get a bunch of women together and just have a good time. This trip was coming to an end, but it wasn't the end yet... so I decided to enjoy every minute of it.
We sat around and ate our breakfast and got in the car to leave. I thought there was no possible way to laugh any harder than we had all week, but no... I think today took the cake. We laughed til literally I was crying, Michelle was choking and Mari was snorting. It was a good time. Time past so much quicker when I wasn't thinking about how I needed to get home. Chalk up one for having a good time on a 4.5 hour drive that normally I would have driven at a fast and furious pase only seeing in front of me and counting down the miles as I went. Nice. Riaght? or was that LEFT! (anyway)
When I got home, I saw my husband only for a few seconds before he went to work. I took my suitcases in the back and I THOUGHT about unpacking. But, I have to work tomorrow and the unpacking can wait until tomorrow night. No apologies or reasoning right? I got in this AWESOME bed and promptly went to sleep. Beautiful... and I don't even feel guilty alittle bit. (Hey, I'm liking this new thing.) Kirsten woke me up so she could go see an old friend and I took her to their house. Now, here's where I threw alittle kink in my plan... I did stop by the shop and do a few things I needed to do before tomorrow. But I had missed the shop, and I love the shop... and that's ok.
I did decide that if and when I have spare time, (not at work, with the family, or with my friends) that I only want to do things I really love to do instead of all the mindless crud I fill in my extra moments with. No more suduko, facebook games, tv shows I don't even really like, or ebay searches. If I'm going to do something mindless, I want to really enjoy it. I mean, I only have 30 days of this... can I do that? Sounds easy... but alot of that mindless stuff is addicting. Something else I decided to ask myself everyday was, "What do you want to do?" I know this sounds dumb but when asked this question sometimes... I don't even know. Sad. Tonight, I asked myself this questiona and I got the weirdest answer. And I certainly wasn't expecting it. I want to brush a horse. I want to brush the horse, pet it, talk to it, learn about them. Do I want to ride one? No. But I want to hang out with one for awhile. I didn't see that one coming... did you? So, I'm gonna try to find someone this month that will let me brush their horse. We'll see.
Day one was good. Not a whole heck of alot to report... at least nothing note worthy. But Day one was a success none the less. It was good. And dang it... Nine to Five is on. That's GOOD mindless tv watching. I don't think I've watched that show in at least a decade. So, I'm gettin' to it and I'm gonna enjoy it.
Til tomorrow.
Christi
We sat around and ate our breakfast and got in the car to leave. I thought there was no possible way to laugh any harder than we had all week, but no... I think today took the cake. We laughed til literally I was crying, Michelle was choking and Mari was snorting. It was a good time. Time past so much quicker when I wasn't thinking about how I needed to get home. Chalk up one for having a good time on a 4.5 hour drive that normally I would have driven at a fast and furious pase only seeing in front of me and counting down the miles as I went. Nice. Riaght? or was that LEFT! (anyway)
When I got home, I saw my husband only for a few seconds before he went to work. I took my suitcases in the back and I THOUGHT about unpacking. But, I have to work tomorrow and the unpacking can wait until tomorrow night. No apologies or reasoning right? I got in this AWESOME bed and promptly went to sleep. Beautiful... and I don't even feel guilty alittle bit. (Hey, I'm liking this new thing.) Kirsten woke me up so she could go see an old friend and I took her to their house. Now, here's where I threw alittle kink in my plan... I did stop by the shop and do a few things I needed to do before tomorrow. But I had missed the shop, and I love the shop... and that's ok.
I did decide that if and when I have spare time, (not at work, with the family, or with my friends) that I only want to do things I really love to do instead of all the mindless crud I fill in my extra moments with. No more suduko, facebook games, tv shows I don't even really like, or ebay searches. If I'm going to do something mindless, I want to really enjoy it. I mean, I only have 30 days of this... can I do that? Sounds easy... but alot of that mindless stuff is addicting. Something else I decided to ask myself everyday was, "What do you want to do?" I know this sounds dumb but when asked this question sometimes... I don't even know. Sad. Tonight, I asked myself this questiona and I got the weirdest answer. And I certainly wasn't expecting it. I want to brush a horse. I want to brush the horse, pet it, talk to it, learn about them. Do I want to ride one? No. But I want to hang out with one for awhile. I didn't see that one coming... did you? So, I'm gonna try to find someone this month that will let me brush their horse. We'll see.
Day one was good. Not a whole heck of alot to report... at least nothing note worthy. But Day one was a success none the less. It was good. And dang it... Nine to Five is on. That's GOOD mindless tv watching. I don't think I've watched that show in at least a decade. So, I'm gettin' to it and I'm gonna enjoy it.
Til tomorrow.
Christi
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
30 Days of Blogging. 30 Days of Me.
Being on vacation with the girls has taught me more than I would have imagined. More than probably the girls could imagine too since we spend our days laughing our heads off and delighting in the sheer art of doing what we want to do. Who gets to do that??? We do loads of laughing, but then in the wee hours of the morning we do a little talking, soul searching, talking about what we really want. Then we start to laugh again b/c it all sounds so.... impossible.
So, I decided to do a little test. What would happen if I came back home and looked at my life in a completely different way? What if I decided to make a concience DECISION to find the happiness in whatever I was doing. I mean, obviously I can't spend 30 days doing EXACTLY what I want, b/c I can't afford to go to Italy for a month, BUT I could try to find the very blessings I have right here with exactly what I have. Now, dear reader.... stop laughing before you go on. I KNOW that's going to be extremely hard... maybe even impossible to try to look on the bright side for a continual 30 days. Which in truth, is where the blogging comes in. So that when I get in a rut, I have you, dear reader, to remind me that this "happiness fest" is only for 30 days. Unless, I really grab a hold of something here... and it rocks my world!
Along with trying to find the happiness and blessings in my everyday life instead of moaning and complaining that I STILL have more laundry to be done, I plan to try on making a few more changes for this 30 day period look-see at life. I will try not to worry about what other people think, to not feel guilty for saying NO, (at least for 30 days, ya'll) to love the people that love me, and not worry about the people that don't. I will try to be forgiving, patient, nurturing and nice, but not to be a doormat. I will not expain myself or my reasonings unless I want to, I will nurture my husband and child, and focus attention on them b/cause truly these are the two relationships that I need to cherish the most. I will make it a POINT to spend time with my friends... not just because I have a BUNCO date, or a party, or a kid function to go to with them, but because these are also the relationships I WANT to nurture.
This is not going to be an easy month, as fantastic as it may seem. I think this is going to be a HARD month, but I'd like to see what happens to my life when I try to implement these things. So, dear reader I invite you to come along on this journey, such as it is, to join in on my accomplishments, my failings, my happiness and my heartbreak. Maybe you'll decide to take a journey of your own... maybe you'll just decide I"m crazy. But that's ok, because for this month.... I don't care.
And I start....NOW.
So, I decided to do a little test. What would happen if I came back home and looked at my life in a completely different way? What if I decided to make a concience DECISION to find the happiness in whatever I was doing. I mean, obviously I can't spend 30 days doing EXACTLY what I want, b/c I can't afford to go to Italy for a month, BUT I could try to find the very blessings I have right here with exactly what I have. Now, dear reader.... stop laughing before you go on. I KNOW that's going to be extremely hard... maybe even impossible to try to look on the bright side for a continual 30 days. Which in truth, is where the blogging comes in. So that when I get in a rut, I have you, dear reader, to remind me that this "happiness fest" is only for 30 days. Unless, I really grab a hold of something here... and it rocks my world!
Along with trying to find the happiness and blessings in my everyday life instead of moaning and complaining that I STILL have more laundry to be done, I plan to try on making a few more changes for this 30 day period look-see at life. I will try not to worry about what other people think, to not feel guilty for saying NO, (at least for 30 days, ya'll) to love the people that love me, and not worry about the people that don't. I will try to be forgiving, patient, nurturing and nice, but not to be a doormat. I will not expain myself or my reasonings unless I want to, I will nurture my husband and child, and focus attention on them b/cause truly these are the two relationships that I need to cherish the most. I will make it a POINT to spend time with my friends... not just because I have a BUNCO date, or a party, or a kid function to go to with them, but because these are also the relationships I WANT to nurture.
This is not going to be an easy month, as fantastic as it may seem. I think this is going to be a HARD month, but I'd like to see what happens to my life when I try to implement these things. So, dear reader I invite you to come along on this journey, such as it is, to join in on my accomplishments, my failings, my happiness and my heartbreak. Maybe you'll decide to take a journey of your own... maybe you'll just decide I"m crazy. But that's ok, because for this month.... I don't care.
And I start....NOW.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Grandmommy
Ella Mae Evans. Wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend, and the best woman I have ever known. I so wish I could tell her that. When you're young you let things like pride, embaressment, the false sense that you have forever, and your own self involvement to not say all the things you wish you could have said later.
My grandmother and I had a special relationship. When I was young I would come stay with her in the summers and she would play with me. I mean really play with me... hide and seek, yahtzee, life, monopoly, cards, and she even let me get the Snoopy Sno-Cone machine out and make huge messes with that. She let all the neighbor kids come over and play, spend the night, take us to the mall, even to the skating rink. Also, she taught me so much in that time period. She tried to teach me to sew (it didn't stick... I'm horrible) how to shell peas, crack pecans, pick berries, make Mrs. Tricky's sugar cookies, to wash dishes by hand, and to hang up the sheets and towels on the line. (Whenever I smell that smell, it always reminds me of her) More so than that, she taught me what it was to be a good person. I have never met anyone like my grandmother. I rarely saw her mad, and when she was she said things like "oh FOOT!" or she would sigh deeply and say nothing. She was simply the nicest person I have ever known, and she showed me what unconditional love was all about.
As I got older, I felt somewhat like an outsider. I didn't feel good enough, I knew people in the family were disappointed in me. I felt like I was always measure up to people I deemed as "perfect". I shut down around family, withdrew, curled into the fetal position and tried to be invisible. No one understood. My grandmother did. I don't know how she really felt... but I never felt judged by her. She was the only person I could talk to for so long. She loved me for me, for everything about me, good or bad, right or wrong, she just loved me. How do you say thank you for something like that??? I never did. Boy, I wish I could.
After my grandfather died, she was alone. I was pregnant and lived in Baytown. She was sick, and we didn't know why. I would go over there everyday. Things were different and I knew she didn't feel good. It was starting to get to her, and she was losing weight, losing her happiness. She never said anything, I just knew by little ways she would sigh or move or talk. That was my grandmother, never complaining, always smiling... I remember being in elementary and her having to get chemo, I would sit on her lap while she sat in a big chair with an iv in her arm. She never complained. Anyway, I went into labor with Kirsten and I was at her house until time to go to the hospital that afternoon. She couldn't stand to see me in pain. I could tell it hurt her just to see me hurt. After the baby was born she came into my room. Everyone was oohin and ahhing over the baby, but my grandmommy came in and made a beeline for my bed. She kissed me on the forehead, asked me how I was and held my hand. THEN she went over to the baby. I didn't even realize it then, I was so out of it... but when I watched the tape it made me cry. It was just so like her.
I took two classes that next semester in college and Grandmom watched Kirsten on Tues and Thurs for about 5 hours. I was so relieved to have her there, and I think she enjoyed it more than anything. When Kirsten was about 6 months old we moved to Kingwood. I didn't see Grandmommy as much but I called her every morning at 9am. Her death came as quite a shock to me. I miss her still everyday. I wish I could have one more day, one more hour, or one more minute to give her a hug and tell her what she means to me. I know she's still with me, she lives in my heart. I try everyday to live up to the kind of woman she was, I fail, but I try.
I'm so blessed to have had her in my life. She was one of a kind. She was my Grandmommy.
Monday, June 7, 2010
My Dawg.
Chance. My dog has been sick lately. He seems to be better, but Doc told us to keep him down for at least a month. This would be hard for most dogs, but not for Chance... he's loving it. Today, we all had the rare pleasure of sleeping in. For some reason, Chance sleeps on me every night. I hate it, b/c he's a "hot dog" (no pun intended) and I burn up with him. This morning I got out of bed to get dressed and when I came out, this is what I found! Gotta love my men!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
My Favorite Things
I LOVE to be surrounded by my favorite things. Call me crazy, but I LOVE colored cardstock, glimmer mist, stickles, cats eyes, fun flock, beautiful flowers, and colorful rosettes, bows, and glitter!! Had to show ya.....
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Pat's Birthday Blog.
As always, I'm behind. Pat was born on April 16th...I won't tell you her birthday year in case she's keeping secrets! lol.
Pat. Where do I begin?? Boy, I love this lady. I've been married to her son for almost 15 years, and one of the best things that came with him, was his mother. We've always been close. She lived in Dayton for about the first 10 years we were married. She would come over and spend the weekends with us, teaching me all about crafts, getting me into stamping, hanging out and teaching me how to put on one heck of a halloween carnival!!!! No matter what was going on, Pat was always there to help pitch in. If I wanted to paint a room... she'd say, "let's do it". If I didn't know how to cut out wood with a table saw, she'd say, "come on, I'll show ya." Pat taught me how to do all kinds of things, I NEVER would have tried without her.
About five years ago, Pat and Mark (her husband) moved on the next street over from me. Everyone always says, "oh my gosh, how can you live that close to your in-laws?" Well, first of all, they aren't your average in-laws... and second, we've always been respectful of each other living that close.
Almost 5 months ago, I came to her and asked her about wanting to open a scrapbook store. It went something like this... "Pat, the lady at Scrapbook Emporium is selling her business, you want to buy it with me?" Pat looks at me a second and says, "Sure." That's what I love about Pat!
In the last 5 months I can tell you we have gone beyond the closeness we've always shared. We went into this business scared but excited. It has been amazing to share this with her. We've been together every step of the way. When one person has a bad day, the other person is there to lift us up. She has truly been a blessing to me. (Especially the day she saved my life doing the heimlich on me!!!) We can look at each other and know what the other is thinking before we even say anything, we laugh loudly and soundly EVERY day, we share in the excitement, the scariness and the ABSOLUTE fun in owning this business together. (We never imagined when we opened this store the amazing people and the FUN we would have) I love that it has really opened up Pat to her goofy side!!! (She cracks me up) No matter what ever happens with this business, I know it has only made us closer and for that no money could ever repay!
Pat plays many hats with me. Mother-in-law, grandmother to my child, neighbor, business partner, and my friend. She is the best "Mother-I.L" I could ever have hoped for, and the best partner I could have ever wished for. We always laughed saying we didn't see each other as much when she moved on the next street as when she lived in Dayton. Well, I believe we are making up for it now!!! (And I dont' mind a bit)
Love You Always.
Christi
Sunday, May 30, 2010
The End of An Era
Kirsten has completed middle school. She starts high school next year. Truly amazing, where did this year go? Where did the last 14 years go?? Yesterday it seems like she was toddling around, and now here she is starting high school.
This year has been full of surprises. Kirsten started 8th grade in public school at Gentry. Her first year in public school was wonderful. I was so nervous I cried the first week before school everyday wondering if I was doing the right thing. God SO took care of things. I can truthfully say this has been the best year I can remember for her. She really flourished. She surely showed me... I was so scared she'd flounder and be eaten up by the HUGE school and all the kids. God answered every prayer I put in front of Him with her wonderful teachers, great friends, safety and happiness for her, and a comforting hand for me.
Now, don't get me wrong... High school makes me nervous too! lol. But, I'll be nervous for her always. And alot of my nervousness has turned to excitement since she made Stars. She's so happy and excited, it's hard not to catch it! Now, I think of the wonderful things she's going to have in store for her these next four years. Stars will be wonderful, and I hear, like a family... she even gets to go to New York City with them next year... and you can bet that means I get to go too! =) (She's already asked me to go... can I tell you how happy that makes me???) I'm excited to see what this beautiful, amazing young woman does. For the next four years of high school, for the four years after in college, and for the rest of her life. I couldn't be more proud.
Kirsten, you have so much in store for you. I look forward to seeing all the different paths that are put in front of you and which you choose to take. I pray that you stay rooted in God, and that you always look His direction before stepping out into the world... you can never go wrong if you always look to Him. I'm so glad that He chose me to be your mom, and that I have the privelege of raising you. I love you. Mommy.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
top 12 Things You Can Do to Freak People Out on an Elevator.
Top 12 Things to You Can Do to Freak People Out on an Elevator
12. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
11. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
10. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, “BAD TOUCH”!
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
8. Start a sing along.
7. Say “DING!” at each floor.
6. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers “through” it.
5.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank open the doors, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
4.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut UP, Dang it, all of you just shut UP!”
3. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
2.Crack open your briefcase or pure, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there??”
1. Stand silent and motionless, in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
People might look at you funny... but it sure is fun!!! (Great stress reliever too!) lol
12. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
11. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
10. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, “BAD TOUCH”!
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
8. Start a sing along.
7. Say “DING!” at each floor.
6. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers “through” it.
5.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank open the doors, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
4.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut UP, Dang it, all of you just shut UP!”
3. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
2.Crack open your briefcase or pure, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there??”
1. Stand silent and motionless, in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
People might look at you funny... but it sure is fun!!! (Great stress reliever too!) lol
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Real Lost Recap
Oh my Gravy. Don't worry if you haven't seen the episode yet.. you can read on, because even once you see the episode... you won't know what the "hey-hey" I'm talking about.
Allison Janney, (could there have been a worse casting for this part?) who I kept thinking should be walking into the white house at any moment, played the crazy island lady. She will from now be known as "crazy lady". She meets a pregnant, washed on shore strange woman, who will now be called, "Preggers". "Preggers", goes into labor and "crazy lady" helps her birth her babies, which turn out to be twins. (Ow) As soon as labor is over, "crazy lady" bops "preggers" in the head, and she dies. She then raises the twins as her own. "Bad twin" and "Good twin." She takes the twins to the "lighted cave" and tells them they can never go down there, b/c that would be ... bad, but they have to protect it. Protect what??? Who the heck knows. "Bad twin" finds out what "crazy lady" did and gets mad and goes to be with his "peeps". "Good twin" stays with "crazy lady" but still hangs out with "bad twin". Thirty years later, "bad twin" finds a way off the island. He tells "good twin", who goes and tattletales back to "crazy lady". Crazy lady tells "good twin" he is the one and he must protect the island. (Here drink this... um, I don't think so, but thanks anyway.) "Crazy lady" goes to "bad twin" tries to kill him, ruins his plans and kills all his peeps. This makes "bad twin" mad. He then kills "crazy lady" who says, "thank you". (What the hell????) "Good twin" comes in, gets mad and throws "bad twin" down the lighted cave". Hence, "bad twin" becomes smoke monster.
Oooooooh. I get it now. I love it when everything becomes crystal clear. NOT. After seeing next weeks previews, this is all I have to say. If this turns out to be some bad acid trip... I'm gonna be peeved.
Allison Janney, (could there have been a worse casting for this part?) who I kept thinking should be walking into the white house at any moment, played the crazy island lady. She will from now be known as "crazy lady". She meets a pregnant, washed on shore strange woman, who will now be called, "Preggers". "Preggers", goes into labor and "crazy lady" helps her birth her babies, which turn out to be twins. (Ow) As soon as labor is over, "crazy lady" bops "preggers" in the head, and she dies. She then raises the twins as her own. "Bad twin" and "Good twin." She takes the twins to the "lighted cave" and tells them they can never go down there, b/c that would be ... bad, but they have to protect it. Protect what??? Who the heck knows. "Bad twin" finds out what "crazy lady" did and gets mad and goes to be with his "peeps". "Good twin" stays with "crazy lady" but still hangs out with "bad twin". Thirty years later, "bad twin" finds a way off the island. He tells "good twin", who goes and tattletales back to "crazy lady". Crazy lady tells "good twin" he is the one and he must protect the island. (Here drink this... um, I don't think so, but thanks anyway.) "Crazy lady" goes to "bad twin" tries to kill him, ruins his plans and kills all his peeps. This makes "bad twin" mad. He then kills "crazy lady" who says, "thank you". (What the hell????) "Good twin" comes in, gets mad and throws "bad twin" down the lighted cave". Hence, "bad twin" becomes smoke monster.
Oooooooh. I get it now. I love it when everything becomes crystal clear. NOT. After seeing next weeks previews, this is all I have to say. If this turns out to be some bad acid trip... I'm gonna be peeved.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mom's Birthday/Mother's Day Blog
Delores Ann Evans. She came into this world on March 13, 1946. I can only imagine how she was as a child, as a teen, as a young adult. I look at all the pictures and see the same amazing smile that I've grown up with. I imagine she was a pretty mischevious child... she fell out of an upstairs window when she was 2. She was not even sent to the hospital, although I gave my grandmother a particularly hard time about this, I think she fell on her head so there wasn't much to worry about. (Just kidding mom!!) ;) I wish I could have known her as she was growing up, I bet we would have gotten in a lot of troule together.
My mother is amazing. Truly lots of people think so. I think she's amazing but for probably different reasons than most. My mother is a master piano player. She is a great friend, totally reliable, always laughing, generous to a fault, (she'd give you the shirt off her back if she thought you needed it) and is truly funny. These are the things that people can readily see about my mother. And they are wonderful things, but there is so much more that I am proud of her for.
Life has not always been easy for my mom. I won't speak of other things, but I will speak about me. Mom and I had a rocky relationship as a teen. Lots of moms and teens do. But, you grow up and you become a mom and things become clearer than they once were. You do the best you can with what you are given. (As in me) We both did some things back then we wish we could redo. But the great thing is, our relationship totally flourished from it. Both of our friends probably gasp when they hear that we live only two doors away from each other, but it has truly been a blessing. The best thing I could have ever hoped for. (I'm not just saying that b/c this year she decided to bond with Kirsten by taking her to school each morning) Whoooooo hoooo. But it is a nice perk! lol.
No matter what was going on with my mom and I, I always knew that she loved me and cared about me. As I got older I really relied on my mom. When Kirsten was born, she came and stayed with me for two weeks... I don't know what I would have done without her. When Mark and I were first married, she helped us out with everything, even financially... I don't know where we would have been without her then. When I get sick, like when my appendix had to be taken out, the first person I still want is my mom. (Mark rolls his eyes when I'm in the emergency room telling him to hurry up and call my mommy!!!) There's just no one else who will do. When she had her stroke this last summer, I really thought I was going to lose her. I was lost. Usually I'm so good in a crisis. I was just in shock. If I lost her, I would be lost. I didn't know what to do... so I just prayed, and thanks to the good Lord above, he spared her, good as new.
But, back to my original start... the specific reasons I am so proud of my mother. My mother is stronger than she knows. She's vulnerable, not as thick skinned as people think she is... but this is one tough lady. She has survived lots of not so great things and come out on the other side, beautiful, poised, stronger than she thinks, and with a doo that can not be undone. (I'm talkin' hair here people.) Ask her about her hair in the tornado. She has really come into her own here. I like that. Words cannot express how much I love my mother, nor how much she means to me. But I hope that you know, I will always be here for you. I am so grateful that you are my mother. God knew just what he was doing when he picked you for me.
I love you mom! Thanks for everything you do for me and my family. And more than that, thank you for just being you, and for raising me to be the woman I am. Strong, independent, funny, vulnerable, and willing to give someone the shirt off my back. Just like you.
I love you mom!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
8th Grade Dance
Oh my gosh, I'm old. Kirsten went to the 8th grade dance last weekend for Gentry. It was quite the eye opener. First of all, my baby is going into High School. WHAT????? Is this possible? I mean in four years she'll be going off to college, which is scary b/c I still have to curl her hair in the morning... how is she going to go to college if she can't do her own hair????? (I'm getting off subject) ANYWAY, It was so wonderful and yet sad. I hate that.
This is the first time we had the whole boy/girl go by yourself to dinner. The coursages and boutinere (sp) which I have to say, was quite hilarious. I think it took about 9 people to get his boutinere to stay on and I hear when he took off his shirt he had 9 blood stains where everyone had pricked him!! Poor little man!
This is the first time I had not chaperoned the dance, much less planned it. I had to work that night so I couldn't chaperone. But, I still got pictures... and I think she might have been glad that she got to go without me hanging around finally. Just one more thing I have to start letting go of... I did go in to get something she had forgotten afterward.... man, that wasn't like any middle school dance I had gone to. Ours were always at the gym, with punch and maybe some balloons. This was at Especial Events, they had an ICE SCULPTURE, catered food, and knock out decorations. Those ladies did a wonderful job. I was amazed.
Anyway, it was the last big Hurrah of the 8th grade year. Well, except for the class trip and all, but next year will be a whole other ball game. And although I'm sooo excited for her in her upcoming year... I wish I could slow down the years. They just go by too fast.
The important thing was, she had a blast, her friends had a blast, they were all beautiful, and there were a number of afterparties which I was pleasantly suprised to find out about, b/c like me the parents want them to get used to going to their house and not out drinking after these dances.
I think I'm ready for next year.... but it still made me feel old. =P
Friday, April 23, 2010
Jay Boyd
Jay Brady Boyd.
Man, I wish this were a birthday blog…. Jay Brady Boyd~ Sept. 5, 1973-April 23, 1991. Almost 20 years. It’s engraved in my head, and in my heart.
I met Jay in middle school. We ran in the same group of kids and we were friends. In high school, we became closer… but it wasn’t til our Junior year that I talked to him everyday, learned so much about him… that I can’t forget, and began to rely on him as someone I could lean on.
My friend Jay, was smart, quick, and wickedly funny. He was very dark, always had been, but could brighten your day with a smile, a roll of his eyes, or a facial expression. When he was in a bad mood, everyone knew, you better run. He could slide from happy, to sad, to mad in no time at all. There were so many sides to him that people weren’t always privy to. He had a heart of gold, and would literally give you the shirt off his back if he trusted you. I was going through a hard time, and he would drive back and forth with me to Baytown to go see my boyfriend for a couple of hours and then go back with me. Taking up his time, so I wouldn’t be driving alone. Those trips he always kept me in stitches or near tears, whatever the mood may have been… but he definitely struck a cord with me. I began to really know Jay, and I was letting him know me. I remember driving home from the movies one night and going under the bridge from the AMC… he saw a homeless person and a child under the bridge. He stopped the car and gave them $100 bill. He also told me there was a gun in his glove compartment and that I was to use it if he got in trouble. I was alarmed and I did ask him why he had a gun, he gave me that “don’t be stupid” look and said it was for protection. I totally believed him. There was no reason not to.
I would sit with Jay, a lot of nights, on top of my car, or in his car with the top down, radio on, talking and talking and talking. We were both going through problems. But as “depressed” as he was…I would have called it being a teenager. We were all having problems. He was so sarcastic, witty, and funny. He had so much going for him. I don’t say that lightly… he was a genius with music. He wrote music, he played music, he made drum major. He was incredibly smart- National Honor Society smart. He would have gotten into almost any college, more than likely with a scholarship. People looked up to him… I have no doubt at all that he would have been something special…b/c he already was special.
So what happened April 23, 1991???? How many times have I asked myself this question?? What could I have done? What happened? Who did this to him? What happened? Why???? What happened? Why didn’t we know? What happened?? It doesn’t matter anymore. It just is. I go back and forth being sad and being mad. I was so mad I burned all his pictures one year, and I was so sad I cried and cried and cried til I had no tears left. It took me awhile to feel anything. I went numb. But man, when they caught up… it wasn’t fun.
I think what bothers me the most now… was just thinking about him being alone. How alone he must have felt. BUT….he didn’t have to be alone. He could have called a dozen people. There were a lot of people who loved him. Everyone has problems. Everyone wants to give up sometimes… but they don’t. I have no doubt that he would be very successful now, have someone to call his own, be with his family, have lots of friends, and be in some major city like New York, Miami, San Francisco, or Los Angeles doing what he loved best… music.
Suicide is never the answer. It’s selfish, stupid, harmful to all those around you that you love, and really solves nothing. In fact, for so many of us that are left to pick up the pieces of ourselves, it makes more problems. And to be honest… if he hadn’t done what he did, in five years time all the problems that he thought were so awful… wouldn’t have been problems any more. Man, I wish I could have imparted some of that wisdom on him. But when you’re in pain… words of wisdom don’t really help… especially when you’re a teenager.
Jay~ I miss you, I love you, and I wish you were still here. There’s not many days that for some reason or other you don’t float thru my mind. I’m mad as hell at you, and I wish I could hug your neck and make cracks about where we were and where we are now. I hope you have peace. I hope you got what you were looking for. I know I’ll see you again. I know it.
Christi
Man, I wish this were a birthday blog…. Jay Brady Boyd~ Sept. 5, 1973-April 23, 1991. Almost 20 years. It’s engraved in my head, and in my heart.
I met Jay in middle school. We ran in the same group of kids and we were friends. In high school, we became closer… but it wasn’t til our Junior year that I talked to him everyday, learned so much about him… that I can’t forget, and began to rely on him as someone I could lean on.
My friend Jay, was smart, quick, and wickedly funny. He was very dark, always had been, but could brighten your day with a smile, a roll of his eyes, or a facial expression. When he was in a bad mood, everyone knew, you better run. He could slide from happy, to sad, to mad in no time at all. There were so many sides to him that people weren’t always privy to. He had a heart of gold, and would literally give you the shirt off his back if he trusted you. I was going through a hard time, and he would drive back and forth with me to Baytown to go see my boyfriend for a couple of hours and then go back with me. Taking up his time, so I wouldn’t be driving alone. Those trips he always kept me in stitches or near tears, whatever the mood may have been… but he definitely struck a cord with me. I began to really know Jay, and I was letting him know me. I remember driving home from the movies one night and going under the bridge from the AMC… he saw a homeless person and a child under the bridge. He stopped the car and gave them $100 bill. He also told me there was a gun in his glove compartment and that I was to use it if he got in trouble. I was alarmed and I did ask him why he had a gun, he gave me that “don’t be stupid” look and said it was for protection. I totally believed him. There was no reason not to.
I would sit with Jay, a lot of nights, on top of my car, or in his car with the top down, radio on, talking and talking and talking. We were both going through problems. But as “depressed” as he was…I would have called it being a teenager. We were all having problems. He was so sarcastic, witty, and funny. He had so much going for him. I don’t say that lightly… he was a genius with music. He wrote music, he played music, he made drum major. He was incredibly smart- National Honor Society smart. He would have gotten into almost any college, more than likely with a scholarship. People looked up to him… I have no doubt at all that he would have been something special…b/c he already was special.
So what happened April 23, 1991???? How many times have I asked myself this question?? What could I have done? What happened? Who did this to him? What happened? Why???? What happened? Why didn’t we know? What happened?? It doesn’t matter anymore. It just is. I go back and forth being sad and being mad. I was so mad I burned all his pictures one year, and I was so sad I cried and cried and cried til I had no tears left. It took me awhile to feel anything. I went numb. But man, when they caught up… it wasn’t fun.
I think what bothers me the most now… was just thinking about him being alone. How alone he must have felt. BUT….he didn’t have to be alone. He could have called a dozen people. There were a lot of people who loved him. Everyone has problems. Everyone wants to give up sometimes… but they don’t. I have no doubt that he would be very successful now, have someone to call his own, be with his family, have lots of friends, and be in some major city like New York, Miami, San Francisco, or Los Angeles doing what he loved best… music.
Suicide is never the answer. It’s selfish, stupid, harmful to all those around you that you love, and really solves nothing. In fact, for so many of us that are left to pick up the pieces of ourselves, it makes more problems. And to be honest… if he hadn’t done what he did, in five years time all the problems that he thought were so awful… wouldn’t have been problems any more. Man, I wish I could have imparted some of that wisdom on him. But when you’re in pain… words of wisdom don’t really help… especially when you’re a teenager.
Jay~ I miss you, I love you, and I wish you were still here. There’s not many days that for some reason or other you don’t float thru my mind. I’m mad as hell at you, and I wish I could hug your neck and make cracks about where we were and where we are now. I hope you have peace. I hope you got what you were looking for. I know I’ll see you again. I know it.
Christi
Monday, April 19, 2010
The MS150
Over the weekend, Mark did the MS150. This is his sixth year to ride and so we all make the trek down there every year to support him and to take pictures and sitesee.
Well, this weekend did not go QUITE like I had planned. My camera card broke, so all I had was a small camera. THEN, the bottom dropped out and we basically swam up to Austin. (Obviously, no pictures) I got stopped by a policeman on the way up, and this time, I had set my cruise control for 65 so I wouldn't be speeding, but we must have gone thru a smaller town and the speed limit was 55. UUUUUUGGGGGHHHH! (I would have noticed this, but I was asleep at the wheel, I was so tired.) Of course, it could have been worse, I could have been arrested for evading arrest, b/c who knows how long he had been behind me. I get to Austin, and I JUST miss Mark going across the finish line. So for the first time, I didn't see Mark cross. (He was devastated! lol) I spent loads of money at the Co-op, which WAS the highlight. Took ONE picture of Kirsten and Joey, and got back in the car and turned around and went back home. On the way home, Mark took the LONG way home, went about 25 miles per hour and I slept in the front seat all the way home.
So, for a re-cap... no pictures, no finish line, got fined, slept on a bumpy seat and drove for 7 hours with two teenagers! lol
Mark had a blast though, and that's what this weekend was about! Way to go Mark! Next year I'll be there for sure!! (Cause I'm spending the night!!!)
Friday, April 16, 2010
Kirsten's Birthday Blog
Kirsten Elizabeth Downs. She made it into this world at 4:43pm on Thursday Feb.29, 1996. Unique birthday for a truly unique child. She was absolutely precious, and a totally wonderful baby. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect child for me. Except for ear infections, which plagued her for that first year, she was an easy baby. She'd wake up, and instead of crying, look around, play with her little duck for awhile,and then start to look around, only to notice we were already in the room. As soon as she saw us, she'd give us this huge, beautiful grin. It would melt my heart. She was a rocker, in fact she was rocked until at least the first grade.
It's how she went to sleep. Always singing her the same song, Away In A Manger, all three verses, and if you made a mistake you had to start completely over.
As a preschooler, and even up into her elementary school years, she was a very shy child. She made friends easily, but definitely didn't come up to kids until she knew them. She began coming out of her shell little by little until one day we wondered, "where is our quiet shy child???" Memories of her as a child always flood back when I really think of them. Foxy, her stuffed animal that she could never sleep without, and in fact, still does. (Shhhh, no one is supposed to know) Those sweet baby hands and feet, painting outside with her, reading books everyday while we rocked, watching The Lion King over and over and over again, watching her walk around with at least three pacifiers- one in her left hand, one in her right hand, and one in her mouth... and sometimes one in her pocket, if she had one. Sweet kisses and hugs, and I will always love to hear the word "mom" come out of her mouth. (Well, almost... I'm not so sure I like it when I hear it come out in three syllables... MMMMOOOOOOOMMMM!!) lol. Those are the teenage memories... the way it takes her an HOUR to blow dry her hair, she picks out three outfits a day and then wears something completely different, she tells me her crazy dreams til I'm laughing and saying "ok, enough!!" She rolls her eyes, she sasses me, she makes me crazy... she also inspires me, she still gives me hugs when I need them, TRIES to beat me at Donkey Kong, and makes me laugh out loud with her sense of humor.
She is my first and only child and we have grown as parents as she has grown into a beautiful teenager. I find it so hard to know that in 4 short years my baby will leave and go off to college. (Hopefully... I mean, hopefully she goes off to college, not that she hopefully leaves!lol) These next four years will be about taking the training wheels off and hoping she doesn't fall. I know she'll make it. I have never been so proud of anyone in my life. This year, she went to a new school, a big school, and I was so scared for her. She did wonderful. I think she did better than I did!!! She has suprised me in so many great ways. She has taught me this year when I thought I was teaching her. "Let things roll off your back mom" , "Forgive people... doesn't even matter if they deserve it... everyone deserves it." "When things are hard, that's when it really matters". She has amazed me. More than that, I like this child. Of course I love her, she's my daughter! But I LIKE her. She makes me laugh, she makes me roll my eyes, she makes me throw my hands up in the air and scream... UNCLE, she's smart, and she's mine.
I'll leave you with the story I used to tell her every night before she went to bed while she rocked... right before the "Away in a Manger" song. If I could go to heaven and pick any baby to be mine, I'd search and search and search until I found you. I'd wait in long lines, I'd do chores for Jesus, and I'd stand on my head til He led me straight to you! (ok, come on, she was little and she liked it!)And it's true.
I love you Kirdy Birdy. I am so proud of you. You are such a special, person. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I thank God everyday He let me borrow you. I hope you had a happy birthday. I hope you have many, many more.
Love you Birdie.
Mom
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
My Big Winner!
Mark, who never wins much of anything when gambling... I know, was a Texas Lotto winner. He got a quick pick, came home from work and looked at the numbers.
First number...Got it
Second number...Got it
Third number... Wow, got it.
Fourth Number... GOT IT!
Fifth Number... OH MY GRAVY... GOT IT!
(Now I imagine he had the hand on his phone to tell TPC he would be taking a permanent vacation since the jackpot was 81 million...)
6th number... Don't got it. =(
But hey... he got 5 numbers, and we won alittle money. We are using it to take a trip to Las Vegas. We've never been and we're thinking getting away would be good. Besides, where else would you with lucky money??? The bank you say??? Now what fun would that be!!! lol
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Insomnia Strikes Again...
Here I am, 3am and I can't sleep. Well, who's complainin', it's literally been two months since this has happened. Better yet, I'm off tomorrow so I can sleep til 9am. Whoooo hooo.
Now, I don't know what got me thinking about this tonight. BUT, I was thinking about my favorite place. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love all things Disney. Now, some might say that my annual trek to Disney is going too far. And to that I say... BLEH! But I will say, that there are SOME people who take the Disney experience too far.
If you find yourself at the World (Disney) with tights, a cape, and a mask... even if you ARE dressed like Disney characters... you have gone TOO far. And let me just say... these outfits are not designed to make one look attractive obviously. The moral to this picture is... Don't Do It. Sometimes, you get into the "Disney" spirit of things and act like a kid when you go there... that's ok. BUT, do NOT... dress up like the incredibles and walk the park. No good can come of it. Except... I don't think Mark and I quit laughing for about 10 minutes. In fact, we stumbled to find our camera and take a picture before we lost em!
Hope you enjoy!!! We sure did!
Monday, April 12, 2010
"Not Ready To Make Nice" and other things I agreed with the Dixie Chicks about until....
Forgive sounds good
Forget, I don't think I could
They say, Time Heals Everything
But I'm still waiting
I'm Through with doubt
Nothing left for me to figure out
I paid the price
And I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't make myself do what it is you think I should
I gotta say... I have felt this way alot. I try to teach my daughter different, heck I even try to act different but I don't always succeed. Some of my worst faults lie in cutting people off when I feel wronged. And if I am wronged, forget about it. Now, I'll say this, I'm great at forgiving people who come and say... "I'm sorry, will you forgive me." I'm gonna tell you in almost all instances I'm great at that. I know people make mistakes, and I know I am a master at making mistakes. So, would I want someone to forgive me when I"m wrong??? Of course. And I'm wrong alot.
But here is the stinger. My hardest issue. How do you forgive someone who doesn't ask to be forgiven? How do you forgive someone who has wronged you and then never cared enough to do anything about it. Well, truthfully... my personal motto... and dear reader, I know it's not a good motto, is "Screw 'Em". I'll just never talk to them again. I'm good at it. And here is where my beautiful daughter has taught me a BEAUTIFUL lesson.
My daughter was hurt...bad. And I mean mentally here, not physically. Now, did she do some hurting right back. I'm sure she did. It took her awhile... a long while actually, but she came to me and said, "Mom, I forgive these people... I don't want to be mad anymore." She wanted to call and tell these people that she was sorry for her part in what had happened and she wanted to be friends. WOW. I said, "Well, honey... I"m not sure they would be receptive to you." (I didn't want her to be hurt again, and I wasn't sure that these particular children wouldn't just hurt her further.) She told me, "All I can do is apologize for what I did, and if they don't want to be friends with me, then they don't. But I'll know that I tried, and it won't bother me anymore." Then she told me about how Jesus said that you were to set an example and if that meant forgiving and being hurt again, then that's what it meant. Gravy, WHEN in the world did she get so smart. I said, "ok, you're going to open up a can of worms here... and I hope that it goes well."
I'm not sure how well it went. But I can tell you this. I cried last night. I cried because my daughter taught me to be a better person last night. Maybe I should forgive people that I have held a grudge with. Maybe I shouldn't close myself off in case I get hurt. Maybe getting hurt isn't the end of the world. Maybe we should forgive our enemies. And if things don't work out great, that's still ok. You can sit with the peace that you did the right thing and you hold no hatred, annoyance or judgement against other people.
My daughter inspires me. Now, I need to get working on myself!
Forget, I don't think I could
They say, Time Heals Everything
But I'm still waiting
I'm Through with doubt
Nothing left for me to figure out
I paid the price
And I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't make myself do what it is you think I should
I gotta say... I have felt this way alot. I try to teach my daughter different, heck I even try to act different but I don't always succeed. Some of my worst faults lie in cutting people off when I feel wronged. And if I am wronged, forget about it. Now, I'll say this, I'm great at forgiving people who come and say... "I'm sorry, will you forgive me." I'm gonna tell you in almost all instances I'm great at that. I know people make mistakes, and I know I am a master at making mistakes. So, would I want someone to forgive me when I"m wrong??? Of course. And I'm wrong alot.
But here is the stinger. My hardest issue. How do you forgive someone who doesn't ask to be forgiven? How do you forgive someone who has wronged you and then never cared enough to do anything about it. Well, truthfully... my personal motto... and dear reader, I know it's not a good motto, is "Screw 'Em". I'll just never talk to them again. I'm good at it. And here is where my beautiful daughter has taught me a BEAUTIFUL lesson.
My daughter was hurt...bad. And I mean mentally here, not physically. Now, did she do some hurting right back. I'm sure she did. It took her awhile... a long while actually, but she came to me and said, "Mom, I forgive these people... I don't want to be mad anymore." She wanted to call and tell these people that she was sorry for her part in what had happened and she wanted to be friends. WOW. I said, "Well, honey... I"m not sure they would be receptive to you." (I didn't want her to be hurt again, and I wasn't sure that these particular children wouldn't just hurt her further.) She told me, "All I can do is apologize for what I did, and if they don't want to be friends with me, then they don't. But I'll know that I tried, and it won't bother me anymore." Then she told me about how Jesus said that you were to set an example and if that meant forgiving and being hurt again, then that's what it meant. Gravy, WHEN in the world did she get so smart. I said, "ok, you're going to open up a can of worms here... and I hope that it goes well."
I'm not sure how well it went. But I can tell you this. I cried last night. I cried because my daughter taught me to be a better person last night. Maybe I should forgive people that I have held a grudge with. Maybe I shouldn't close myself off in case I get hurt. Maybe getting hurt isn't the end of the world. Maybe we should forgive our enemies. And if things don't work out great, that's still ok. You can sit with the peace that you did the right thing and you hold no hatred, annoyance or judgement against other people.
My daughter inspires me. Now, I need to get working on myself!
Friday, April 9, 2010
I'm having a hard time getting over it!
Dear Reader, (Actually this is for the reader's husbands)
If your wife has ANY chocolate in the house AT ALL, that could even POSSIBLY be deemed as hers, do NOT eat it without permission. I'm just sayin'.
Just so we are totally clear. This includes chocolate you gave her, chocolate in her purse, her car, her bedside table, her closet, under her side of the bed, stashed in the laundry room, the "craft" room, on the counter in the kitchen, by the computer, or ANYWHERE else you come into contact with said chocolate. Do the right thing, ASK first... you know what the answer is going to be, but if you must, ask anyway. MAYBE she'll be willing to share. But, I can tell you that if she has been on a diet and has been looking forward to the chocolate in question, and waits almost a week to eat the chocolate, and then goes looking for it, only to find it gone.... someones not leaving the house without a severe limp.
If you can't tell, I'm having a hard time getting over it. LOL
If your wife has ANY chocolate in the house AT ALL, that could even POSSIBLY be deemed as hers, do NOT eat it without permission. I'm just sayin'.
Just so we are totally clear. This includes chocolate you gave her, chocolate in her purse, her car, her bedside table, her closet, under her side of the bed, stashed in the laundry room, the "craft" room, on the counter in the kitchen, by the computer, or ANYWHERE else you come into contact with said chocolate. Do the right thing, ASK first... you know what the answer is going to be, but if you must, ask anyway. MAYBE she'll be willing to share. But, I can tell you that if she has been on a diet and has been looking forward to the chocolate in question, and waits almost a week to eat the chocolate, and then goes looking for it, only to find it gone.... someones not leaving the house without a severe limp.
If you can't tell, I'm having a hard time getting over it. LOL
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Giving God the Glory
Today, I had a day off. It's weird, because besides cleaning, grocery shopping and going to Sam's I have nothing to do. I am able to sit around alittle today and do nothing. Precious. So, this morning I was doing my quiet time and I realized how incredibly blessed I am. I felt led to share...
A year ago, things weren't so bright. I was scared, emotionally closed off, and depressed about what came next. I DID lean on God, but not enough... If I had leaned on him enough, I would have had faith about how things were going to turn out. God has such a tremendous plan.
Today, I'm so thankful for my husband, who has totally supported me, (and I'm not always easy to support) my child, who's strength and ability to laugh at herself never ceases to astound me. My family, we are a work in progress, but we are definitely progressing and I am SOO thankful. My wonderful friends, old and new, I had lost faith in people and they have totally restored that faith. This new business God has given me, I'm loving it. And all the little things, I take for granted, house, car, food, dogs, Mark's job, etc....
Now dear reader, this reads like a braggy Christmas letter, I know. BUT, I know that tomorrow everything can be turned upside down, fall to pieces and I'll be all poopy once again. But today, I have to give God the glory and just say out loud how thankful I am for what He has given me. Sometimes, I don't do that enough... I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. But I need to just be happy because I know God's got my back... and really that's all I need. Worrying has got me nowhere, b/c God's got a plan and I'm just going to have to sit tight through the rough patches. (Something I'm not good at)
I hope everyone has a wonderful blessed day.
Christi
A year ago, things weren't so bright. I was scared, emotionally closed off, and depressed about what came next. I DID lean on God, but not enough... If I had leaned on him enough, I would have had faith about how things were going to turn out. God has such a tremendous plan.
Today, I'm so thankful for my husband, who has totally supported me, (and I'm not always easy to support) my child, who's strength and ability to laugh at herself never ceases to astound me. My family, we are a work in progress, but we are definitely progressing and I am SOO thankful. My wonderful friends, old and new, I had lost faith in people and they have totally restored that faith. This new business God has given me, I'm loving it. And all the little things, I take for granted, house, car, food, dogs, Mark's job, etc....
Now dear reader, this reads like a braggy Christmas letter, I know. BUT, I know that tomorrow everything can be turned upside down, fall to pieces and I'll be all poopy once again. But today, I have to give God the glory and just say out loud how thankful I am for what He has given me. Sometimes, I don't do that enough... I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. But I need to just be happy because I know God's got my back... and really that's all I need. Worrying has got me nowhere, b/c God's got a plan and I'm just going to have to sit tight through the rough patches. (Something I'm not good at)
I hope everyone has a wonderful blessed day.
Christi
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My Dad's Birthday Blog
I am sooo way behind on this blog. I definitely meant to at LEAST write blogs on people's birthdays telling them what they mean to me. (Sometimes I have a hard time doing that in person... ok, I always have a hard time doing that in person.) I am behind on my dad's and my mom's birthday blogs so I will try to get these up soon, cause I know I'll get in trouble! lol.
Feb. 12, 1943~ the day my father was born. Growing up, my father was gone alot. He worked, he went to school and earned not only a bachelor degree but a Master's and was VERY close to getting his Doctorate. (sp?) Even when he was home, my father and I were strangers. To say I grew up angry, bitter, disillusioned, and extremely hurt by the way things went down with my father is an understatement. We looked alike. Catch a glimpse of me growing up, and you'll see the dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes, serious expression, our hands, our feet, our noses, etc... it's all the same. Not only physical, but in our mannerisms... if you watch either of us sit in a chair and rock you will see it's identical. (one leg tucked under with a book in our hand and a drink on the table) the fact that I have to have things a certain way to sleep or it's NEVER going to happen and in fact, doesn't alot of the time. The way I hold a drink in my hand, the way I run my hand over my face and through my hair when I'm so frustrated that I'm about to walk away or absolutely lose my cool. The way we're sick to our stomach if we are in the least bit upset about something, and that is quite often. Blood pressure spiking over little things, cheeks red, ears red, nose red...don't tell me you can't tell when your blood pressures up! lol. Emotionally- we can cut you off and never speak to you again like it's nothing. (Something I continually work on not doing) I'm intensely loyal, opinionated, smart, misunderstood, quick to fire back when fired upon, and a total work in progress. Just like my dad. How can someone I'm so much like, care so little for me? Be so disappointed in me? Not love me? Not like me? And not want to be a part of my life? They were questions that went through my mind a million times.
Being grown up sheds alot of light on things. Alot. I still don't have all the answers to all those questions. I know some of them are not even relevant anymore. I don't even really care. I'm just happy that our relationship is nothing like that anymore.
In the last few years the relationship that I have with my father has changed tenfold. He's no longer just my father, he's my dad. I talk to him three or four times a week. The judgements we used to pass on each other, are gone. There is no anger, no hurt, no disappointment, no bitterness. It's amazing. It's wonderful. I never thought we'd ever be where we are... and I can't tell you how happy it makes me. I have my dad. The past is behind us. I've let it go, and so has he. We don't talk about it, we don't make hurtful remarks about it, we don't bring it up, or hold it for use later on. The hurts that were done to me, intentionally or otherwise are totally forgiven. Over. My dad is happy, happier than I've ever known him to be in all my 36 years. And that makes me happy. I'm beginning to know the man that I'm so much like in so many ways... b/c before he was a stranger, and I was so afraid I'd never get to really know him.
Dad, I want to tell you how happy I am for you. I hope that things continue to go well for you and that you get all that you've ever wanted. I'm proud of you, Not for all the accomplishments that you've made through work and school, (although I'm proud of you for that too) but for being open and willing to put yourself out there with me. I know you had to get over your disappointments in me, and things that I had done as well. For that I'm grateful. I want to wish you a Happy Belated Birthday. You can always count on me.
Love you,
Nerd Girl
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