Every little girl has watched Grease. ( Ok, well maybe not EVERY little girl, but if not, you're living under a rock and you should RUN not walk to your nearest Blockbuster and rent it. You're missin' out!) As a child, my friends and I would dance to the soundtrack of Grease, reenact the scenes and fight over who got to be Sandy.
I was rarely Sandy. And when I was Sandy I wanted to the Sandy at the end. You know, BAD Sandy. Of course, to be honest, all the girls wanted to be BAD Sandy. I always thought Rizzo was more interesting. She was real. She wasn't perfect, didn't pretend to be, and didn't care that people knew it. I always thought Sandy was a goody-goody who couldn't POSSIBLY be that good all the time. I thought she was judgemental, stuck up, and someone I probably wouldn't have been friends with. (I mean she was a cheerleader... UGH!) I mean, no one liked her til she loosened up, put on some hotpants, pretended to smoke and danced around the carnival suggestively. And the worst thing about the whole thing, is she did it to get a guy to like her. GRAVY! How retro is that?? Change everything about yourself so that you can get a guy to like you. Pshhht. Not Rizzo. Rizzo was the way she was, and you could take that or leave it. You liked her for her or you hated her for her. I liked her.
Now, I wasn't quite like Rizzo, but we did have some similarities. Rizzo was a tough broad, or so we thought. She was guarded, never letting anyone seeing her true emotions, probably for fear that someone would use them against her. Deep down, I think... Rizzo was terribly vulnerable. Like her, I am very guarded with my feelings. I won't let you see the tears, the hurt, or much of anything else. Why? I don't know exactly. I have an idea... but I ain't sharin' no details! lol. People think I'm a tough broad. I can handle most situations, and you don't have to worry about me losin' it. That's true. But when the hard stuff is over with and I'm at home... I'm not so tough. People hurt me horribly. I'm just good at hiding that. It comes out in anger... which makes me look even tougher. (I can think of another word for it, but I'll refrain.) Rizzo had a wicked sense of humor. Anybody who knows me, knows I do too. Unless you know me, you don't get it. I can laugh at the unlaughable. Because if you don't laugh, you'll cry. And I'm gonna always try not to cry. Rizzo will tell ya like it is... and girl, so will I. I pull no punches. You always know what I'm really feeling. I always said when God was handing out representatives (the part of yourself that is sweet and nice all the time, in the face of adversity...the part that can do those nice white lies) he forgot to give me one. Um, this is not always a good thing. But, it's a flaw.. and it's me.
Here's how I think things ended up...
Sandy flew off into the clouds with Danny. They had a really great time for a few months, but Danny got tired of all the perfectionism... plus Sandy couldn't curl her hair like that, put on make-up OR smoke. The excitement wore off... AND Sandy was a whiner. Who wants some little perfectionist whining all the time when you're a teenager??? Sandy married someone like Eugene, had some kids and became a stay at home wife. She expected life to be a fairy tale. Dinner at 5pm. Roses delivered from her husband weekly. Kisses and hugs. A little white house, with a picket fence, all smiles and no fights. Of course life is not like that. So Sandy dreams of that day in high school at the carnival, how great it was, how wonderful it felt... repressed, ticked off and thinking she deserves more than Eugene can offer her, she cheats and becomes a wild lady. She never sowed her oats... watch out world here she comes. She's gonna sow em now. And in the process she hurts everybody.
Rizzo on the other hand, was lost for a while. Couldn't get her crap together, and was pretty wild during her college days. She met a man, who loved her for her, and they had a kid. Now both of them, being pretty wild, were scared about marriage and parenthood. There were no false illusions, they were TERRIFIED. They had no idea if they'd make it. Or even HOW they would make it. But, they got thru it together. They make mistakes, as all parents do, they fight, as all couples do... but they have a good life. The hard times make them stronger. This they know, because they know about hard times, and are not disillusioned by them.
Everytime I see Grease with my daughter my thoughts go to why we all want to be Sandy so badly. She clearly had some issues.
And Gravy, so do I... who else puts so much thought into the movie GREASE?????
Wait til you see my synopsis on "Pretty in Pink" LOL!!!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Awesome God
Life has handed me some unexpected curveballs. And having as much excitement as I did when I was young (and not good excitement) made being normal, truly wonderful for me.
For the betterment of the last 15 yrs. I have been a wife and a mom. And I loved it. But along the way, when there is nothing just for you, sometimes you tend to lose yourself. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being mom. I wouldn't trade it for the world. There is nothing on earth I'd rather do. AND I love being a wife. Sometimes the work is tedious, overlooked, and feels not worthwhile... but I know it is. I know that more than anything I ever do on earth, this is probably the MOST worthwhile thing I will do. That being said, Kirsten will be going off to college in 4.5 VERY SHORT YEARS! Breaks my heart, but I know this is what is MEANT to happen. So, what do I do? Where do I go? Of course, I'll still be a mom. And of course, I'll still be a wife. But what will I do? As the days and years go by, Kirsten needs me less and less. This is only natural, but still I find myself feeling displaced sometimes. I have asked for a long time... that God would lead me where he wants me to go. That God would literally SLAP me in the face with what I need to do. (I often need slapping to get my attention) But it had been so long... I was giving up. (Which just goes to show you... NEVER give up on God)
In what could only be called "A God Thing" an opportunity literally FELL in my lap. I wasn't even supposed to be there. God had to have led me there at the right time, and the right place. I found a partner, I found the money, my husband is all for it! (These things never happen) I'm being led, and I'm not second guessing myself. I KNOW what I want, and I know that it's right. Now, I've asked God to throw up the stop signs everywhere if this is not what HE wants. But so far, all systems are go, and I feel alive for the first time in a long time! I'm excited for me. It's been a very long time since I've been excited for me. It feels GOOD. I know this is going to be one of the hardest things I'll EVER do, but I know I can do it. I know I'll be good at it. (If I don't screw up the business side of it) lol.
Please pray for me. I can't wait to let people in on the specifics, but I don't want to count my chickens before they're hatched. Pray that what needs to be done, will be done. Who needs to be involved will be involved. That the knowlege I need, will be there. And the most important, that I'm doing what God wants me to do.
"Our God is an Awesome God"
Christi
For the betterment of the last 15 yrs. I have been a wife and a mom. And I loved it. But along the way, when there is nothing just for you, sometimes you tend to lose yourself. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being mom. I wouldn't trade it for the world. There is nothing on earth I'd rather do. AND I love being a wife. Sometimes the work is tedious, overlooked, and feels not worthwhile... but I know it is. I know that more than anything I ever do on earth, this is probably the MOST worthwhile thing I will do. That being said, Kirsten will be going off to college in 4.5 VERY SHORT YEARS! Breaks my heart, but I know this is what is MEANT to happen. So, what do I do? Where do I go? Of course, I'll still be a mom. And of course, I'll still be a wife. But what will I do? As the days and years go by, Kirsten needs me less and less. This is only natural, but still I find myself feeling displaced sometimes. I have asked for a long time... that God would lead me where he wants me to go. That God would literally SLAP me in the face with what I need to do. (I often need slapping to get my attention) But it had been so long... I was giving up. (Which just goes to show you... NEVER give up on God)
In what could only be called "A God Thing" an opportunity literally FELL in my lap. I wasn't even supposed to be there. God had to have led me there at the right time, and the right place. I found a partner, I found the money, my husband is all for it! (These things never happen) I'm being led, and I'm not second guessing myself. I KNOW what I want, and I know that it's right. Now, I've asked God to throw up the stop signs everywhere if this is not what HE wants. But so far, all systems are go, and I feel alive for the first time in a long time! I'm excited for me. It's been a very long time since I've been excited for me. It feels GOOD. I know this is going to be one of the hardest things I'll EVER do, but I know I can do it. I know I'll be good at it. (If I don't screw up the business side of it) lol.
Please pray for me. I can't wait to let people in on the specifics, but I don't want to count my chickens before they're hatched. Pray that what needs to be done, will be done. Who needs to be involved will be involved. That the knowlege I need, will be there. And the most important, that I'm doing what God wants me to do.
"Our God is an Awesome God"
Christi
Monday, February 1, 2010
I'm Still Alive.
I'm not a good driver. I'm not a bad driver or a dangerous driver, but I am not a good driver.
Let me explain. A driver that is not good, knows they are not good, and drives defensively. Trying to harm no one, but still stinks. A BAD driver is someone who is a not good driver, that THINKS they are a good driver. And a dangerous driver is, is the worst driver of all, they are in fact, dangerous. These DANGEROUS drivers, dear reader, are who almost make me lose my Christian "self". These are the people who make me want to scream, roll down my window and throw up the "naughty" finger. But these are exactly the people, even if you were prone to such acts, that you would be afraid to do that to. Because, dear reader, these people have road rage. Now there is one more category that I have yet to talk about... and these people, are not dangerous on the road, these people are IN DANGER in my car. These are the people that are good drivers, and LOVE to tell me what a BAD driver I am. These people want to teach me, to make me a better driver... but as any "not good" driver will tell you...we've tried. Now, you're just Tickin' Me Off. And not in a good way...
When I say that I'm not a good driver, this is what I'm talking about. I hit curbs. There isn't a curb in this town I've not had the pleasure of knowing intimately. I get on the highway, and before long I'm going 85mph, and I didn't even know. I roll thru stops (especially if no one is there) and alot of times speed thru yellow lights. (Yellow means go very fast, right?) Alone, I blare my music (habits from my youth) sing loudly, and quite often dance in the car. I try not to do these things, but more often than not, I do.
Now, some people can't understand this. They think they can "teach" me to be a better driver, and only their reminding me of how bad I am will save me from hitting yet another pot hole at full force. They are dead wrong... they make my rebellious teenage side drive WORSE.
There is my mom...who actually "taught" me to drive, but is a "bad" driver herself. (Although, she thinks she's good... see, that's what makes her bad) She rarely says anything, but sighs rather loudly as I hit yet another pothole and we catch some air. (This is what seatbelts are for)
My husband, bless his little heart, absolutely CAN NOT hold his tongue when I'm driving in the car. (Which is often, because I get carsick... I even make myself carsick sometimes!) He starts out with, "Watch out for the other man" (Yes Dear) then goes to "Do you know you're going 50mph in a 55mph zone???" (So? There's a 10mph cushion, isn't there??) "brake, Brake, BRAKE CHRISTI!!" (HEEHEEHEE) and then finally, "We cannot afford another ticket!!" (And we can't, because he gets em all!) Which REALLY ticks him off. I rarely get a ticket... and not because I'm HOT and bat my eyelashes, put on some lipgloss and pull out my cleavage." I usually have the cops laughing pretty quickly. (This proves to be the best way to handle these situations... a little comedy.) I'm getting off topic... sorry. There are those too scared to say anything, that hold on to the "Oh Poop" handles with a deathgrip, rigid, stiff, eyeballs wide open, scanning side to side, wondering if my red suburban will be where they meet their end. (I take pity on these people) Then there are the cool cats... you know who you are, adrenaline junkies, who LOVE to ride in my car. They make jokes about living to see another day, they sing verses of the song "Alive" by Pearl Jam. Riding in my car reminds them of their care free days of high school and college (when everyone was a "not good" driver) sun shining down, wind blowing thru your hair, radio turned up loudly, singing as loud as your voice would allow, and doing the "cabbage patch" in your seat. These people, I love... they are "my people" so to speak. lol.
I'm trying to do better. I am a work in progress all around. AND I know that much work is needed on my driving skills. BUT, if you happen to find yourself in my red suburban or outside my red suburban on the road... try to relax, give me alittle wave and sing yourself a few bars of Pearl Jam. Otherwise, you're apt to make me prove of just how bad a driver I really am...
"oooh, I'm still alive...."
"hey, I'm still alive..."
Let me explain. A driver that is not good, knows they are not good, and drives defensively. Trying to harm no one, but still stinks. A BAD driver is someone who is a not good driver, that THINKS they are a good driver. And a dangerous driver is, is the worst driver of all, they are in fact, dangerous. These DANGEROUS drivers, dear reader, are who almost make me lose my Christian "self". These are the people who make me want to scream, roll down my window and throw up the "naughty" finger. But these are exactly the people, even if you were prone to such acts, that you would be afraid to do that to. Because, dear reader, these people have road rage. Now there is one more category that I have yet to talk about... and these people, are not dangerous on the road, these people are IN DANGER in my car. These are the people that are good drivers, and LOVE to tell me what a BAD driver I am. These people want to teach me, to make me a better driver... but as any "not good" driver will tell you...we've tried. Now, you're just Tickin' Me Off. And not in a good way...
When I say that I'm not a good driver, this is what I'm talking about. I hit curbs. There isn't a curb in this town I've not had the pleasure of knowing intimately. I get on the highway, and before long I'm going 85mph, and I didn't even know. I roll thru stops (especially if no one is there) and alot of times speed thru yellow lights. (Yellow means go very fast, right?) Alone, I blare my music (habits from my youth) sing loudly, and quite often dance in the car. I try not to do these things, but more often than not, I do.
Now, some people can't understand this. They think they can "teach" me to be a better driver, and only their reminding me of how bad I am will save me from hitting yet another pot hole at full force. They are dead wrong... they make my rebellious teenage side drive WORSE.
There is my mom...who actually "taught" me to drive, but is a "bad" driver herself. (Although, she thinks she's good... see, that's what makes her bad) She rarely says anything, but sighs rather loudly as I hit yet another pothole and we catch some air. (This is what seatbelts are for)
My husband, bless his little heart, absolutely CAN NOT hold his tongue when I'm driving in the car. (Which is often, because I get carsick... I even make myself carsick sometimes!) He starts out with, "Watch out for the other man" (Yes Dear) then goes to "Do you know you're going 50mph in a 55mph zone???" (So? There's a 10mph cushion, isn't there??) "brake, Brake, BRAKE CHRISTI!!" (HEEHEEHEE) and then finally, "We cannot afford another ticket!!" (And we can't, because he gets em all!) Which REALLY ticks him off. I rarely get a ticket... and not because I'm HOT and bat my eyelashes, put on some lipgloss and pull out my cleavage." I usually have the cops laughing pretty quickly. (This proves to be the best way to handle these situations... a little comedy.) I'm getting off topic... sorry. There are those too scared to say anything, that hold on to the "Oh Poop" handles with a deathgrip, rigid, stiff, eyeballs wide open, scanning side to side, wondering if my red suburban will be where they meet their end. (I take pity on these people) Then there are the cool cats... you know who you are, adrenaline junkies, who LOVE to ride in my car. They make jokes about living to see another day, they sing verses of the song "Alive" by Pearl Jam. Riding in my car reminds them of their care free days of high school and college (when everyone was a "not good" driver) sun shining down, wind blowing thru your hair, radio turned up loudly, singing as loud as your voice would allow, and doing the "cabbage patch" in your seat. These people, I love... they are "my people" so to speak. lol.
I'm trying to do better. I am a work in progress all around. AND I know that much work is needed on my driving skills. BUT, if you happen to find yourself in my red suburban or outside my red suburban on the road... try to relax, give me alittle wave and sing yourself a few bars of Pearl Jam. Otherwise, you're apt to make me prove of just how bad a driver I really am...
"oooh, I'm still alive...."
"hey, I'm still alive..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
