"Not Ready To Make Nice" and other things I agreed with the Dixie Chicks about until....

Forgive sounds good
Forget, I don't think I could
They say, Time Heals Everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm Through with doubt
Nothing left for me to figure out
I paid the price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't make myself do what it is you think I should


I gotta say... I have felt this way alot. I try to teach my daughter different, heck I even try to act different but I don't always succeed. Some of my worst faults lie in cutting people off when I feel wronged. And if I am wronged, forget about it. Now, I'll say this, I'm great at forgiving people who come and say... "I'm sorry, will you forgive me." I'm gonna tell you in almost all instances I'm great at that. I know people make mistakes, and I know I am a master at making mistakes. So, would I want someone to forgive me when I"m wrong??? Of course. And I'm wrong alot.

But here is the stinger. My hardest issue. How do you forgive someone who doesn't ask to be forgiven? How do you forgive someone who has wronged you and then never cared enough to do anything about it. Well, truthfully... my personal motto... and dear reader, I know it's not a good motto, is "Screw 'Em". I'll just never talk to them again. I'm good at it. And here is where my beautiful daughter has taught me a BEAUTIFUL lesson.

My daughter was hurt...bad. And I mean mentally here, not physically. Now, did she do some hurting right back. I'm sure she did. It took her awhile... a long while actually, but she came to me and said, "Mom, I forgive these people... I don't want to be mad anymore." She wanted to call and tell these people that she was sorry for her part in what had happened and she wanted to be friends. WOW. I said, "Well, honey... I"m not sure they would be receptive to you." (I didn't want her to be hurt again, and I wasn't sure that these particular children wouldn't just hurt her further.) She told me, "All I can do is apologize for what I did, and if they don't want to be friends with me, then they don't. But I'll know that I tried, and it won't bother me anymore." Then she told me about how Jesus said that you were to set an example and if that meant forgiving and being hurt again, then that's what it meant. Gravy, WHEN in the world did she get so smart. I said, "ok, you're going to open up a can of worms here... and I hope that it goes well."

I'm not sure how well it went. But I can tell you this. I cried last night. I cried because my daughter taught me to be a better person last night. Maybe I should forgive people that I have held a grudge with. Maybe I shouldn't close myself off in case I get hurt. Maybe getting hurt isn't the end of the world. Maybe we should forgive our enemies. And if things don't work out great, that's still ok. You can sit with the peace that you did the right thing and you hold no hatred, annoyance or judgement against other people.

My daughter inspires me. Now, I need to get working on myself!