The Last First Day of School- Senior Year

The Last First Day of School

 

Well, it’s here. The day/year I have been dreading and anticipating for the last 17 years. I can’t believe it’s here. I knew it was coming… I’ve even tried to prepare for it, tried to prepare her for it. (Dang it if kids want to do things their way!)

We wanted four children… but you don’t always get what you want. Kirsten is our only child… and our world has happily revolved around that child since the moment we found out we were having her. I am now counting down, sadly, the last days she will be a “child” in our home.

It feels so sudden, and yet I have thought about this year since her first day of pre-school. What would she be like as a teenager? Who would she grow up to be?

I literally am so proud of her I could burst. She’s smart, funny, a little sassy, beautiful and is on her way to a brighter future than I could have imagined. It’s just as a mom, I’m also a little scared and sad too. (I feel bipolar!!)

Today, I find myself weepy. (For those of you who know me well, you know I’m not a crier.) I even had the “ugly cry” during the movie Hope Floats last night, which I have only watched a dozen times!!! Kirsten and Mark are in for a wonderful year! Lol This is the last first day of school. I remember her first day of school like it was yesterday. She had that sweet baby face, and long blonde baby fine hair and she didn’t want to let go of my hand. I remember I had to almost pry her little fingers off of mine. She didn’t cry… but I did. Today… will be a little different. She probably will have to pry my fingers off hers… but I’ll probably still cry. (Some things don’t change)

I am going to blog this year. (I keep saying this mantra over and over) I am going to keep up with it. She’ll have it when she’s older, and I’ll have it now. We (Kirsten and I) are both going through the ending of something and the beginning of something new. She’s going to savor the last few “real” moments of childhood before she goes off to begin her “real” life adventure. I am going to savor the last few moments of her childhood as well, and try to figure out what the next adventure for me will be. The last 17 years, my job has been to raise our daughter. What is next? I don’t know. Hopefully this year I can start to figure it out. (It’s scary)

Now, all that’s left for me to do… is pray for her… and get the heck out of her way.