Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Day 5- I'm goin' DOWN today. =(
Ok, to vent or to try to be positive first??? It won't take me long to be positive so let me get that out of the way.
Day 5. Highlight- Lunch with Michelle =) I'm so glad I had this to look forward to b/c if I hadn't had that I'd be in some deep doo in the positive department. The only thing I could do to improve this lunch was to have made it longer!
I also got alot done at work today. (Look, I'm trying to find positive things...ok?)
Now to vent. Where should I start? The alarm clock sits on my husband's side of the bed and this morning when it went off I half yelled/ half groaned for him to hit snooze. Well, he hit off. Not his fault, but still made me do that jump out of the bed thing with your heart racing, a four letter word on the tip of your tongue and no time for a shower icky feeling that stays with you all day long.
I get to work and finally call the doctor b/c after about 5 months of being sick everyday I've decided enough is enough. (Have I told you I hate going to the doctor?? With a passion beyond anyone's understanding?) They inform me that if I cancel this appointment I will be charged since I have canceled the last 3 appointments. (Pooh... now I've got to go!) I go, and walk into the office only to see about 20 other people sitting in there. (Gravy, you know it's gonna be a long one now!) I wait at the window, feeling like a complete dumbass b/c there is a sign on the window saying... "Don't tap on the window, we see you and we'll get to the window soon." I stand there, looking thru the frosted window at the newest addition to this obviously tortured office staff. I swear, my doctor is wonderful, but his office staff has to be trained by the "queen of crappy service" medical extroardinare. It's like a school they must all go thru to work in the office there. I'm trying to be patient, seeing this office member on the phone, trying to give her the benifit of the doubt that she's on the phone with a patient, until she hangs up with a "love ya, boo". She pushes the window open, chomping on her gum, (I assume) and just stares at me. Ok... "Christi Downs, 3:30...I'm here" She says nothing but hands me the clip board with at least as many papers as when I bought my house. She says, "fill these out" and shuts the window. Um... HELLO... I tap on the window, a "no-no" as stated on the window, but I'm losing my 30 day positivity attitude. "I'm not a new patient." I say. She looks at me like I'm possibly the dumbest human on the planet and tells me that I have to fill out new insurance information every time I come in. I tell her, I've been going to ya'll for 12 years... I have the EXACT same insurance and information that I've had for the last 10 years and I have no need to fill out the new forms that say EXACTLY what the old forms say. (Now I see the office manager... who is the leader of bad service in this office give me... the look) There is a slight look of panic from the newbie as she doesn't know what to do with one like me, who is out of her lexapro, doesn't like going to the doctor, and has also tapped on the glass. (I'm a rebel) They let me go sit down. Where my new HELL begins. We have new big screen tv's now in the office. Wonderful. We are watching Planet Earth. Ok. I sit there for an hour watching Cougars eat zebra, wildebeast, pumba's, bambi-like creatures, and small gazelles... all babies. A-TRO-CIOUS. Um, forty-five minutes later (and honey, it was still on) I thought I might ask someone if I could watch baby seals being clubbed to death... I thought it might be less graphic and upsetting. But finally, mercifully, my name is called. Nurses and Doctors are wonderful... except for the wonderful slew of tests I'm going to be subjected to in the next couple of weeks. I'm having stomach issues... let your mind think of all the neat test possibilities. Fun. I think God is testing my 30 day theory.
Finally done. Back to work, which is good.
Tomorrow is another day. Hurry up, new day. lol
Til then...
Day 5. Highlight- Lunch with Michelle =) I'm so glad I had this to look forward to b/c if I hadn't had that I'd be in some deep doo in the positive department. The only thing I could do to improve this lunch was to have made it longer!
I also got alot done at work today. (Look, I'm trying to find positive things...ok?)
Now to vent. Where should I start? The alarm clock sits on my husband's side of the bed and this morning when it went off I half yelled/ half groaned for him to hit snooze. Well, he hit off. Not his fault, but still made me do that jump out of the bed thing with your heart racing, a four letter word on the tip of your tongue and no time for a shower icky feeling that stays with you all day long.
I get to work and finally call the doctor b/c after about 5 months of being sick everyday I've decided enough is enough. (Have I told you I hate going to the doctor?? With a passion beyond anyone's understanding?) They inform me that if I cancel this appointment I will be charged since I have canceled the last 3 appointments. (Pooh... now I've got to go!) I go, and walk into the office only to see about 20 other people sitting in there. (Gravy, you know it's gonna be a long one now!) I wait at the window, feeling like a complete dumbass b/c there is a sign on the window saying... "Don't tap on the window, we see you and we'll get to the window soon." I stand there, looking thru the frosted window at the newest addition to this obviously tortured office staff. I swear, my doctor is wonderful, but his office staff has to be trained by the "queen of crappy service" medical extroardinare. It's like a school they must all go thru to work in the office there. I'm trying to be patient, seeing this office member on the phone, trying to give her the benifit of the doubt that she's on the phone with a patient, until she hangs up with a "love ya, boo". She pushes the window open, chomping on her gum, (I assume) and just stares at me. Ok... "Christi Downs, 3:30...I'm here" She says nothing but hands me the clip board with at least as many papers as when I bought my house. She says, "fill these out" and shuts the window. Um... HELLO... I tap on the window, a "no-no" as stated on the window, but I'm losing my 30 day positivity attitude. "I'm not a new patient." I say. She looks at me like I'm possibly the dumbest human on the planet and tells me that I have to fill out new insurance information every time I come in. I tell her, I've been going to ya'll for 12 years... I have the EXACT same insurance and information that I've had for the last 10 years and I have no need to fill out the new forms that say EXACTLY what the old forms say. (Now I see the office manager... who is the leader of bad service in this office give me... the look) There is a slight look of panic from the newbie as she doesn't know what to do with one like me, who is out of her lexapro, doesn't like going to the doctor, and has also tapped on the glass. (I'm a rebel) They let me go sit down. Where my new HELL begins. We have new big screen tv's now in the office. Wonderful. We are watching Planet Earth. Ok. I sit there for an hour watching Cougars eat zebra, wildebeast, pumba's, bambi-like creatures, and small gazelles... all babies. A-TRO-CIOUS. Um, forty-five minutes later (and honey, it was still on) I thought I might ask someone if I could watch baby seals being clubbed to death... I thought it might be less graphic and upsetting. But finally, mercifully, my name is called. Nurses and Doctors are wonderful... except for the wonderful slew of tests I'm going to be subjected to in the next couple of weeks. I'm having stomach issues... let your mind think of all the neat test possibilities. Fun. I think God is testing my 30 day theory.
Finally done. Back to work, which is good.
Tomorrow is another day. Hurry up, new day. lol
Til then...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Day 4-Cleaning~ Not what it's Cracked Up To Be
Day 4 began bright and early. Of course, part of my plan to clean was foiled by my husband. He slept today and so I had to be quiet so as not to wake him. Well, this makes cleaning no fun. If I'm gonna clean, I want to turn on the radio loudly, and boogie down while cleaning. The whole cleaning in quiet and solitude only made me not want to clean. Uh oh. Don't worry, dear reader, I did get quite a bit done, although the bedrooms need some sprucing... I'll get to it tomorrow.
I had a nice lunch with my mom and her new boyfriend. Then went to up to work for a bit. I came back home and began to start to work on the house a bit more. However, when I went into my room to start cleaning again, my bed began to call my name and I, not wanting to be rude, began to visit it by laying down and having a little nap on it. Upon waking from my nap, I decided to ask myself the question... "What do you want to do????" The answer today is, I want to watch movies. So, I began my night with "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "The Sandlot" . I'm rather enjoying these... and since my secret dream is to go to Italy and spend at least a month living in a small town "Under the Tuscan Sun" is especially fun to watch.
I think it would be a much more fun 30 days to ask myself "What do you want to do?" if I had an endless money supply. Maybe the best thing is to be surrounded by everyday things you can afford readily when asking yourself "what do you want to do?" so that it becomes easier in your everyday life. If I had as much money as I wanted to do what I wanted to do it would be like a vacation, right?? Eh, whatever. The cleaning thing wasn't what it was cracked up to be. And then I had to ask myself... what in the heck was I thinking WANTING to clean the house??? No one WANTS to clean their house, they just want a clean house. However, I have wished many times for a clean house and I know that particular genie "Ain't grantin' me no wishes!." Lol.
Anyway, I'm going back to enjoying my movies and hoping that this next week brings me more interesting fodder to write about. But 30 days of writing I promised, and 30 days of writing you will get... no matter how (ahem) entertaining it is.
Until tomorrow.
I had a nice lunch with my mom and her new boyfriend. Then went to up to work for a bit. I came back home and began to start to work on the house a bit more. However, when I went into my room to start cleaning again, my bed began to call my name and I, not wanting to be rude, began to visit it by laying down and having a little nap on it. Upon waking from my nap, I decided to ask myself the question... "What do you want to do????" The answer today is, I want to watch movies. So, I began my night with "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "The Sandlot" . I'm rather enjoying these... and since my secret dream is to go to Italy and spend at least a month living in a small town "Under the Tuscan Sun" is especially fun to watch.
I think it would be a much more fun 30 days to ask myself "What do you want to do?" if I had an endless money supply. Maybe the best thing is to be surrounded by everyday things you can afford readily when asking yourself "what do you want to do?" so that it becomes easier in your everyday life. If I had as much money as I wanted to do what I wanted to do it would be like a vacation, right?? Eh, whatever. The cleaning thing wasn't what it was cracked up to be. And then I had to ask myself... what in the heck was I thinking WANTING to clean the house??? No one WANTS to clean their house, they just want a clean house. However, I have wished many times for a clean house and I know that particular genie "Ain't grantin' me no wishes!." Lol.
Anyway, I'm going back to enjoying my movies and hoping that this next week brings me more interesting fodder to write about. But 30 days of writing I promised, and 30 days of writing you will get... no matter how (ahem) entertaining it is.
Until tomorrow.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Day 3- Let the Fun Begin.
Do you ever look at someone and think.... how the hell did that happen???? Tonight, I'm in a restaurant sitting extremely near a black guy that had a long lightning bolt BONE earring, MC Hammer pants, tank top, a HUGE gold belt and black boots on. Now, you may think... what kind of restaurant were you in??? And I would tell you that I was in a Baytown restaurant. (Alot of people here have a very eclectic look.) But, he was with a pretty normal looking lady (no weird accessories or clothes items) and I couldn't help but wonder, "WHY did she let him go out like that???" Then it hit me... that is some REAL love. I mean, let your freak flag fly kinda love. And it hit me that really all love should be like that. I mean, I'm not telling you to go out and buy yourself some parachute pants and a mesh velcro top, I'm just saying shouldn't we love everyone no matter what they look like, dress like and appear like? What makes people interesting are the little things that we do that are like NO one else. So, the next time my husband puts on his "slacker" t-shirt, cargo shorts with the string holding them together, and his socks with soccer sandals on his way to go run errands around town, I'm going to smile, wave and tell him he looks great and to have a great day. Cause dog-gone it... I love him.
Wonderful news- My friend Mari is going to find me a horse I can brush and pet. I'm lovin' that idea... but not loving the fact that I'm going to have to go all the way to Tennesee to see her soon. =(
Now, for the question of the day.... What do I want to do??? (Day 3) I want to clean the whole house tomorrow, top to bottom and do some laundry. Ok, nothing could have surprised me more than this finding of the day. I HATE to clean... but man, I"m in the mood to do it now. I"m thinking this question stuff is crazy, since I really thought I was going to find answers like, "I want to watch tv, get a massage, go shopping, etc" I wasn't expecting this stuff out of left field that truly I've never wanted to do... like brushing a horse or cleaning the house. (Not that I don't clean the house, but that I NEVER want to.)
Alright... to sum up Day three's findings= "Let your freak flag fly" and " Cleanliness is next to craziness... at least when you WANT to clean, it is."
Good night all. Can't wait to see what I learn about me tomorrow.
Wonderful news- My friend Mari is going to find me a horse I can brush and pet. I'm lovin' that idea... but not loving the fact that I'm going to have to go all the way to Tennesee to see her soon. =(
Now, for the question of the day.... What do I want to do??? (Day 3) I want to clean the whole house tomorrow, top to bottom and do some laundry. Ok, nothing could have surprised me more than this finding of the day. I HATE to clean... but man, I"m in the mood to do it now. I"m thinking this question stuff is crazy, since I really thought I was going to find answers like, "I want to watch tv, get a massage, go shopping, etc" I wasn't expecting this stuff out of left field that truly I've never wanted to do... like brushing a horse or cleaning the house. (Not that I don't clean the house, but that I NEVER want to.)
Alright... to sum up Day three's findings= "Let your freak flag fly" and " Cleanliness is next to craziness... at least when you WANT to clean, it is."
Good night all. Can't wait to see what I learn about me tomorrow.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Day 2- Back to Work.
For some reason today, I was dreading work. I mean, I usually love to go to the shop and "work" but I guess having this "almost" week off made me REALLY enjoy being off and work didn't sound too awesome. But, I got there and there was sooo much to do I immediately got absorbed into the things that needed to be done, that I realized that I really wasn't having as bad of a day as I thought. Now don't get me wrong, I would have rather been at home today. I have lots to do there, and a nap would have really hit the spot around 2pm but it was busy enough I didn't have time to think about it much.
I met with an old friend today. We had been really close friends, and we hurt each other terribly... the way only someone really close to you can. I make friends pretty easily, but I only have a handful of people I am so close to I would regard as part of my famiy. This was one of those friends. We had resolved the major conflict months ago, but had regarded each other warily ever since. No longer enemies, but afraid of being friends again. We talked today. We forgave today. Gravy, we put ourselves out there... which is hard for both of us. I missed her, and I'm glad we have resolution.
It was a pretty good evening all in all. I laughed and talked with my old friend, til my new friend came to do one of her "cheer mom" projects and I sat there laughing and showing her the cricut til time to go.
Alright, I know, brief and not even remotely entertaining... I'll try to do better. Getting in late makes me just want to go to sleep!
Synopsis: Day 2 of Test. Took a chance, went "all in" began a new friendship with an old friend. =)
I met with an old friend today. We had been really close friends, and we hurt each other terribly... the way only someone really close to you can. I make friends pretty easily, but I only have a handful of people I am so close to I would regard as part of my famiy. This was one of those friends. We had resolved the major conflict months ago, but had regarded each other warily ever since. No longer enemies, but afraid of being friends again. We talked today. We forgave today. Gravy, we put ourselves out there... which is hard for both of us. I missed her, and I'm glad we have resolution.
It was a pretty good evening all in all. I laughed and talked with my old friend, til my new friend came to do one of her "cheer mom" projects and I sat there laughing and showing her the cricut til time to go.
Alright, I know, brief and not even remotely entertaining... I'll try to do better. Getting in late makes me just want to go to sleep!
Synopsis: Day 2 of Test. Took a chance, went "all in" began a new friendship with an old friend. =)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Day 1. Coming Home
Day 1 of my little experiment, and it was easy... today. I got up this morning and was thinking home, home, home. Gotta get home. I am one of those people that once you get on the road I"m ready to get wherever it is we are going. But, today because I remembered my test I thought I need to relax... we'll get there when we get there. I decided that I needed to focus on the people around me, and enjoy them. It's so unusual to get a bunch of women together and just have a good time. This trip was coming to an end, but it wasn't the end yet... so I decided to enjoy every minute of it.
We sat around and ate our breakfast and got in the car to leave. I thought there was no possible way to laugh any harder than we had all week, but no... I think today took the cake. We laughed til literally I was crying, Michelle was choking and Mari was snorting. It was a good time. Time past so much quicker when I wasn't thinking about how I needed to get home. Chalk up one for having a good time on a 4.5 hour drive that normally I would have driven at a fast and furious pase only seeing in front of me and counting down the miles as I went. Nice. Riaght? or was that LEFT! (anyway)
When I got home, I saw my husband only for a few seconds before he went to work. I took my suitcases in the back and I THOUGHT about unpacking. But, I have to work tomorrow and the unpacking can wait until tomorrow night. No apologies or reasoning right? I got in this AWESOME bed and promptly went to sleep. Beautiful... and I don't even feel guilty alittle bit. (Hey, I'm liking this new thing.) Kirsten woke me up so she could go see an old friend and I took her to their house. Now, here's where I threw alittle kink in my plan... I did stop by the shop and do a few things I needed to do before tomorrow. But I had missed the shop, and I love the shop... and that's ok.
I did decide that if and when I have spare time, (not at work, with the family, or with my friends) that I only want to do things I really love to do instead of all the mindless crud I fill in my extra moments with. No more suduko, facebook games, tv shows I don't even really like, or ebay searches. If I'm going to do something mindless, I want to really enjoy it. I mean, I only have 30 days of this... can I do that? Sounds easy... but alot of that mindless stuff is addicting. Something else I decided to ask myself everyday was, "What do you want to do?" I know this sounds dumb but when asked this question sometimes... I don't even know. Sad. Tonight, I asked myself this questiona and I got the weirdest answer. And I certainly wasn't expecting it. I want to brush a horse. I want to brush the horse, pet it, talk to it, learn about them. Do I want to ride one? No. But I want to hang out with one for awhile. I didn't see that one coming... did you? So, I'm gonna try to find someone this month that will let me brush their horse. We'll see.
Day one was good. Not a whole heck of alot to report... at least nothing note worthy. But Day one was a success none the less. It was good. And dang it... Nine to Five is on. That's GOOD mindless tv watching. I don't think I've watched that show in at least a decade. So, I'm gettin' to it and I'm gonna enjoy it.
Til tomorrow.
Christi
We sat around and ate our breakfast and got in the car to leave. I thought there was no possible way to laugh any harder than we had all week, but no... I think today took the cake. We laughed til literally I was crying, Michelle was choking and Mari was snorting. It was a good time. Time past so much quicker when I wasn't thinking about how I needed to get home. Chalk up one for having a good time on a 4.5 hour drive that normally I would have driven at a fast and furious pase only seeing in front of me and counting down the miles as I went. Nice. Riaght? or was that LEFT! (anyway)
When I got home, I saw my husband only for a few seconds before he went to work. I took my suitcases in the back and I THOUGHT about unpacking. But, I have to work tomorrow and the unpacking can wait until tomorrow night. No apologies or reasoning right? I got in this AWESOME bed and promptly went to sleep. Beautiful... and I don't even feel guilty alittle bit. (Hey, I'm liking this new thing.) Kirsten woke me up so she could go see an old friend and I took her to their house. Now, here's where I threw alittle kink in my plan... I did stop by the shop and do a few things I needed to do before tomorrow. But I had missed the shop, and I love the shop... and that's ok.
I did decide that if and when I have spare time, (not at work, with the family, or with my friends) that I only want to do things I really love to do instead of all the mindless crud I fill in my extra moments with. No more suduko, facebook games, tv shows I don't even really like, or ebay searches. If I'm going to do something mindless, I want to really enjoy it. I mean, I only have 30 days of this... can I do that? Sounds easy... but alot of that mindless stuff is addicting. Something else I decided to ask myself everyday was, "What do you want to do?" I know this sounds dumb but when asked this question sometimes... I don't even know. Sad. Tonight, I asked myself this questiona and I got the weirdest answer. And I certainly wasn't expecting it. I want to brush a horse. I want to brush the horse, pet it, talk to it, learn about them. Do I want to ride one? No. But I want to hang out with one for awhile. I didn't see that one coming... did you? So, I'm gonna try to find someone this month that will let me brush their horse. We'll see.
Day one was good. Not a whole heck of alot to report... at least nothing note worthy. But Day one was a success none the less. It was good. And dang it... Nine to Five is on. That's GOOD mindless tv watching. I don't think I've watched that show in at least a decade. So, I'm gettin' to it and I'm gonna enjoy it.
Til tomorrow.
Christi
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
30 Days of Blogging. 30 Days of Me.
Being on vacation with the girls has taught me more than I would have imagined. More than probably the girls could imagine too since we spend our days laughing our heads off and delighting in the sheer art of doing what we want to do. Who gets to do that??? We do loads of laughing, but then in the wee hours of the morning we do a little talking, soul searching, talking about what we really want. Then we start to laugh again b/c it all sounds so.... impossible.
So, I decided to do a little test. What would happen if I came back home and looked at my life in a completely different way? What if I decided to make a concience DECISION to find the happiness in whatever I was doing. I mean, obviously I can't spend 30 days doing EXACTLY what I want, b/c I can't afford to go to Italy for a month, BUT I could try to find the very blessings I have right here with exactly what I have. Now, dear reader.... stop laughing before you go on. I KNOW that's going to be extremely hard... maybe even impossible to try to look on the bright side for a continual 30 days. Which in truth, is where the blogging comes in. So that when I get in a rut, I have you, dear reader, to remind me that this "happiness fest" is only for 30 days. Unless, I really grab a hold of something here... and it rocks my world!
Along with trying to find the happiness and blessings in my everyday life instead of moaning and complaining that I STILL have more laundry to be done, I plan to try on making a few more changes for this 30 day period look-see at life. I will try not to worry about what other people think, to not feel guilty for saying NO, (at least for 30 days, ya'll) to love the people that love me, and not worry about the people that don't. I will try to be forgiving, patient, nurturing and nice, but not to be a doormat. I will not expain myself or my reasonings unless I want to, I will nurture my husband and child, and focus attention on them b/cause truly these are the two relationships that I need to cherish the most. I will make it a POINT to spend time with my friends... not just because I have a BUNCO date, or a party, or a kid function to go to with them, but because these are also the relationships I WANT to nurture.
This is not going to be an easy month, as fantastic as it may seem. I think this is going to be a HARD month, but I'd like to see what happens to my life when I try to implement these things. So, dear reader I invite you to come along on this journey, such as it is, to join in on my accomplishments, my failings, my happiness and my heartbreak. Maybe you'll decide to take a journey of your own... maybe you'll just decide I"m crazy. But that's ok, because for this month.... I don't care.
And I start....NOW.
So, I decided to do a little test. What would happen if I came back home and looked at my life in a completely different way? What if I decided to make a concience DECISION to find the happiness in whatever I was doing. I mean, obviously I can't spend 30 days doing EXACTLY what I want, b/c I can't afford to go to Italy for a month, BUT I could try to find the very blessings I have right here with exactly what I have. Now, dear reader.... stop laughing before you go on. I KNOW that's going to be extremely hard... maybe even impossible to try to look on the bright side for a continual 30 days. Which in truth, is where the blogging comes in. So that when I get in a rut, I have you, dear reader, to remind me that this "happiness fest" is only for 30 days. Unless, I really grab a hold of something here... and it rocks my world!
Along with trying to find the happiness and blessings in my everyday life instead of moaning and complaining that I STILL have more laundry to be done, I plan to try on making a few more changes for this 30 day period look-see at life. I will try not to worry about what other people think, to not feel guilty for saying NO, (at least for 30 days, ya'll) to love the people that love me, and not worry about the people that don't. I will try to be forgiving, patient, nurturing and nice, but not to be a doormat. I will not expain myself or my reasonings unless I want to, I will nurture my husband and child, and focus attention on them b/cause truly these are the two relationships that I need to cherish the most. I will make it a POINT to spend time with my friends... not just because I have a BUNCO date, or a party, or a kid function to go to with them, but because these are also the relationships I WANT to nurture.
This is not going to be an easy month, as fantastic as it may seem. I think this is going to be a HARD month, but I'd like to see what happens to my life when I try to implement these things. So, dear reader I invite you to come along on this journey, such as it is, to join in on my accomplishments, my failings, my happiness and my heartbreak. Maybe you'll decide to take a journey of your own... maybe you'll just decide I"m crazy. But that's ok, because for this month.... I don't care.
And I start....NOW.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
