Day 2- Back to Work.

For some reason today, I was dreading work. I mean, I usually love to go to the shop and "work" but I guess having this "almost" week off made me REALLY enjoy being off and work didn't sound too awesome. But, I got there and there was sooo much to do I immediately got absorbed into the things that needed to be done, that I realized that I really wasn't having as bad of a day as I thought. Now don't get me wrong, I would have rather been at home today. I have lots to do there, and a nap would have really hit the spot around 2pm but it was busy enough I didn't have time to think about it much.

I met with an old friend today. We had been really close friends, and we hurt each other terribly... the way only someone really close to you can. I make friends pretty easily, but I only have a handful of people I am so close to I would regard as part of my famiy. This was one of those friends. We had resolved the major conflict months ago, but had regarded each other warily ever since. No longer enemies, but afraid of being friends again. We talked today. We forgave today. Gravy, we put ourselves out there... which is hard for both of us. I missed her, and I'm glad we have resolution.

It was a pretty good evening all in all. I laughed and talked with my old friend, til my new friend came to do one of her "cheer mom" projects and I sat there laughing and showing her the cricut til time to go.

Alright, I know, brief and not even remotely entertaining... I'll try to do better. Getting in late makes me just want to go to sleep!

Synopsis: Day 2 of Test. Took a chance, went "all in" began a new friendship with an old friend. =)

Day 1. Coming Home

Day 1 of my little experiment, and it was easy... today. I got up this morning and was thinking home, home, home. Gotta get home. I am one of those people that once you get on the road I"m ready to get wherever it is we are going. But, today because I remembered my test I thought I need to relax... we'll get there when we get there. I decided that I needed to focus on the people around me, and enjoy them. It's so unusual to get a bunch of women together and just have a good time. This trip was coming to an end, but it wasn't the end yet... so I decided to enjoy every minute of it.

We sat around and ate our breakfast and got in the car to leave. I thought there was no possible way to laugh any harder than we had all week, but no... I think today took the cake. We laughed til literally I was crying, Michelle was choking and Mari was snorting. It was a good time. Time past so much quicker when I wasn't thinking about how I needed to get home. Chalk up one for having a good time on a 4.5 hour drive that normally I would have driven at a fast and furious pase only seeing in front of me and counting down the miles as I went. Nice. Riaght? or was that LEFT! (anyway)

When I got home, I saw my husband only for a few seconds before he went to work. I took my suitcases in the back and I THOUGHT about unpacking. But, I have to work tomorrow and the unpacking can wait until tomorrow night. No apologies or reasoning right? I got in this AWESOME bed and promptly went to sleep. Beautiful... and I don't even feel guilty alittle bit. (Hey, I'm liking this new thing.) Kirsten woke me up so she could go see an old friend and I took her to their house. Now, here's where I threw alittle kink in my plan... I did stop by the shop and do a few things I needed to do before tomorrow. But I had missed the shop, and I love the shop... and that's ok.

I did decide that if and when I have spare time, (not at work, with the family, or with my friends) that I only want to do things I really love to do instead of all the mindless crud I fill in my extra moments with. No more suduko, facebook games, tv shows I don't even really like, or ebay searches. If I'm going to do something mindless, I want to really enjoy it. I mean, I only have 30 days of this... can I do that? Sounds easy... but alot of that mindless stuff is addicting. Something else I decided to ask myself everyday was, "What do you want to do?" I know this sounds dumb but when asked this question sometimes... I don't even know. Sad. Tonight, I asked myself this questiona and I got the weirdest answer. And I certainly wasn't expecting it. I want to brush a horse. I want to brush the horse, pet it, talk to it, learn about them. Do I want to ride one? No. But I want to hang out with one for awhile. I didn't see that one coming... did you? So, I'm gonna try to find someone this month that will let me brush their horse. We'll see.

Day one was good. Not a whole heck of alot to report... at least nothing note worthy. But Day one was a success none the less. It was good. And dang it... Nine to Five is on. That's GOOD mindless tv watching. I don't think I've watched that show in at least a decade. So, I'm gettin' to it and I'm gonna enjoy it.

Til tomorrow.

Christi

30 Days of Blogging. 30 Days of Me.

Being on vacation with the girls has taught me more than I would have imagined. More than probably the girls could imagine too since we spend our days laughing our heads off and delighting in the sheer art of doing what we want to do. Who gets to do that??? We do loads of laughing, but then in the wee hours of the morning we do a little talking, soul searching, talking about what we really want. Then we start to laugh again b/c it all sounds so.... impossible.

So, I decided to do a little test. What would happen if I came back home and looked at my life in a completely different way? What if I decided to make a concience DECISION to find the happiness in whatever I was doing. I mean, obviously I can't spend 30 days doing EXACTLY what I want, b/c I can't afford to go to Italy for a month, BUT I could try to find the very blessings I have right here with exactly what I have. Now, dear reader.... stop laughing before you go on. I KNOW that's going to be extremely hard... maybe even impossible to try to look on the bright side for a continual 30 days. Which in truth, is where the blogging comes in. So that when I get in a rut, I have you, dear reader, to remind me that this "happiness fest" is only for 30 days. Unless, I really grab a hold of something here... and it rocks my world!

Along with trying to find the happiness and blessings in my everyday life instead of moaning and complaining that I STILL have more laundry to be done, I plan to try on making a few more changes for this 30 day period look-see at life. I will try not to worry about what other people think, to not feel guilty for saying NO, (at least for 30 days, ya'll) to love the people that love me, and not worry about the people that don't. I will try to be forgiving, patient, nurturing and nice, but not to be a doormat. I will not expain myself or my reasonings unless I want to, I will nurture my husband and child, and focus attention on them b/cause truly these are the two relationships that I need to cherish the most. I will make it a POINT to spend time with my friends... not just because I have a BUNCO date, or a party, or a kid function to go to with them, but because these are also the relationships I WANT to nurture.

This is not going to be an easy month, as fantastic as it may seem. I think this is going to be a HARD month, but I'd like to see what happens to my life when I try to implement these things. So, dear reader I invite you to come along on this journey, such as it is, to join in on my accomplishments, my failings, my happiness and my heartbreak. Maybe you'll decide to take a journey of your own... maybe you'll just decide I"m crazy. But that's ok, because for this month.... I don't care.


And I start....NOW.

Grandmommy

Ella Mae Evans. Wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend, and the best woman I have ever known. I so wish I could tell her that. When you're young you let things like pride, embaressment, the false sense that you have forever, and your own self involvement to not say all the things you wish you could have said later.

My grandmother and I had a special relationship. When I was young I would come stay with her in the summers and she would play with me. I mean really play with me... hide and seek, yahtzee, life, monopoly, cards, and she even let me get the Snoopy Sno-Cone machine out and make huge messes with that. She let all the neighbor kids come over and play, spend the night, take us to the mall, even to the skating rink. Also, she taught me so much in that time period. She tried to teach me to sew (it didn't stick... I'm horrible) how to shell peas, crack pecans, pick berries, make Mrs. Tricky's sugar cookies, to wash dishes by hand, and to hang up the sheets and towels on the line. (Whenever I smell that smell, it always reminds me of her) More so than that, she taught me what it was to be a good person. I have never met anyone like my grandmother. I rarely saw her mad, and when she was she said things like "oh FOOT!" or she would sigh deeply and say nothing. She was simply the nicest person I have ever known, and she showed me what unconditional love was all about.

As I got older, I felt somewhat like an outsider. I didn't feel good enough, I knew people in the family were disappointed in me. I felt like I was always measure up to people I deemed as "perfect". I shut down around family, withdrew, curled into the fetal position and tried to be invisible. No one understood. My grandmother did. I don't know how she really felt... but I never felt judged by her. She was the only person I could talk to for so long. She loved me for me, for everything about me, good or bad, right or wrong, she just loved me. How do you say thank you for something like that??? I never did. Boy, I wish I could.

After my grandfather died, she was alone. I was pregnant and lived in Baytown. She was sick, and we didn't know why. I would go over there everyday. Things were different and I knew she didn't feel good. It was starting to get to her, and she was losing weight, losing her happiness. She never said anything, I just knew by little ways she would sigh or move or talk. That was my grandmother, never complaining, always smiling... I remember being in elementary and her having to get chemo, I would sit on her lap while she sat in a big chair with an iv in her arm. She never complained. Anyway, I went into labor with Kirsten and I was at her house until time to go to the hospital that afternoon. She couldn't stand to see me in pain. I could tell it hurt her just to see me hurt. After the baby was born she came into my room. Everyone was oohin and ahhing over the baby, but my grandmommy came in and made a beeline for my bed. She kissed me on the forehead, asked me how I was and held my hand. THEN she went over to the baby. I didn't even realize it then, I was so out of it... but when I watched the tape it made me cry. It was just so like her.

I took two classes that next semester in college and Grandmom watched Kirsten on Tues and Thurs for about 5 hours. I was so relieved to have her there, and I think she enjoyed it more than anything. When Kirsten was about 6 months old we moved to Kingwood. I didn't see Grandmommy as much but I called her every morning at 9am. Her death came as quite a shock to me. I miss her still everyday. I wish I could have one more day, one more hour, or one more minute to give her a hug and tell her what she means to me. I know she's still with me, she lives in my heart. I try everyday to live up to the kind of woman she was, I fail, but I try.

I'm so blessed to have had her in my life. She was one of a kind. She was my Grandmommy.

My Dawg.

Chance. My dog has been sick lately. He seems to be better, but Doc told us to keep him down for at least a month. This would be hard for most dogs, but not for Chance... he's loving it. Today, we all had the rare pleasure of sleeping in. For some reason, Chance sleeps on me every night. I hate it, b/c he's a "hot dog" (no pun intended) and I burn up with him. This morning I got out of bed to get dressed and when I came out, this is what I found! Gotta love my men!

My Favorite Things

I LOVE to be surrounded by my favorite things. Call me crazy, but I LOVE colored cardstock, glimmer mist, stickles, cats eyes, fun flock, beautiful flowers, and colorful rosettes, bows, and glitter!! Had to show ya.....

Pat's Birthday Blog.

As always, I'm behind. Pat was born on April 16th...I won't tell you her birthday year in case she's keeping secrets! lol.

Pat. Where do I begin?? Boy, I love this lady. I've been married to her son for almost 15 years, and one of the best things that came with him, was his mother. We've always been close. She lived in Dayton for about the first 10 years we were married. She would come over and spend the weekends with us, teaching me all about crafts, getting me into stamping, hanging out and teaching me how to put on one heck of a halloween carnival!!!! No matter what was going on, Pat was always there to help pitch in. If I wanted to paint a room... she'd say, "let's do it". If I didn't know how to cut out wood with a table saw, she'd say, "come on, I'll show ya." Pat taught me how to do all kinds of things, I NEVER would have tried without her.

About five years ago, Pat and Mark (her husband) moved on the next street over from me. Everyone always says, "oh my gosh, how can you live that close to your in-laws?" Well, first of all, they aren't your average in-laws... and second, we've always been respectful of each other living that close.

Almost 5 months ago, I came to her and asked her about wanting to open a scrapbook store. It went something like this... "Pat, the lady at Scrapbook Emporium is selling her business, you want to buy it with me?" Pat looks at me a second and says, "Sure." That's what I love about Pat!

In the last 5 months I can tell you we have gone beyond the closeness we've always shared. We went into this business scared but excited. It has been amazing to share this with her. We've been together every step of the way. When one person has a bad day, the other person is there to lift us up. She has truly been a blessing to me. (Especially the day she saved my life doing the heimlich on me!!!) We can look at each other and know what the other is thinking before we even say anything, we laugh loudly and soundly EVERY day, we share in the excitement, the scariness and the ABSOLUTE fun in owning this business together. (We never imagined when we opened this store the amazing people and the FUN we would have) I love that it has really opened up Pat to her goofy side!!! (She cracks me up) No matter what ever happens with this business, I know it has only made us closer and for that no money could ever repay!

Pat plays many hats with me. Mother-in-law, grandmother to my child, neighbor, business partner, and my friend. She is the best "Mother-I.L" I could ever have hoped for, and the best partner I could have ever wished for. We always laughed saying we didn't see each other as much when she moved on the next street as when she lived in Dayton. Well, I believe we are making up for it now!!! (And I dont' mind a bit)

Love You Always.

Christi